anxiety attacks and B-Days

Poor Ryan, he always tries so hard. He can't help it that I'm a picky bitch. Out of all the gifts he has given me for Mother's Day, B-Day, anniversaries, X-Mas, etc... over the years, I have kept very few of them. He gave up trying to buy me clothes years ago, now I usually get a house plant (which I promptly kill, not on purpose!), a gift certificate, or jewelry. I should mention I'm also very picky about jewelry, I don't wear much at all. We I was pregnant with Gabrielle, I stopped wearing all jewelry, even my wedding ring because it bugged me, that lasted until X-Mas after she was born, he got me a new ring, so now I feel like I have to wear it and I always do. I wear earrings maybe once a week, never a bracelet, and last X-Mas he bought me a simple silver necklace I pointed out in a magazine and said I wanted. I never take it off, so I'm fairly simple. 

My new necklace is pretty, just not something I would pick out. I'm trying to decide if I should go ahead and return it or  keep it when it's really not my style, and I doubt I'd ever reach for it.... And he brought home a chocolate cake with vanilla icing. I despise vanilla icing, if it's not chocolate then it doesn't belong in my mouth. He knew I preferred chocolate icing, but the bakery was out, and he didn't realize the full level of hatred I have for vanilla icing. Like I said before, poor Ryan, he does try!

You might be thinking by now that the part about the anxiety attacks is Ryan thinking about further gifts for me, but it's not. It's Madeline. It started over a week ago. She flipped out at a park, she thought I had left her, and I was right there. A couple days later she did the same thing to Ryan at the fair, she started having nightmares over the weekend that we had left her. Madeline had an art class today, she has been taking classes through the local art center this summer, this is her 3rd class there. This particular class is just for this week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for two hours at a time. Madeline LOVES art, she loves making crafts, drawing, pottery class has been a favorite of her's lately. She was so excited to go back today. Apparently she made over 10 painting in less then an hour, and then started freaking out, screaming for me. Only there was a major problem, I had registered for all the summer classes last Feb over the phone, they had only asked for her name, B-Day, our credit credit, and then the billing addy and phone number. The billing phone number is my home #. So you can see where this is going, I wasn't home. I was running errands around town with Gabrielle. So poor Madeline was crying for an hour until I came to pick her up, needless to say, the center was not pleased with me. I don't feel that this was all my fault. Madeline has been taking classes without me for 3 years now, she has never once had an issue until today. I always fill out the emergency contact forms with many numbers, my cell, Ryan's cell, his office, all my mom's numbers, etc... I was never given any type of forms to fill out at this place, we just started taking classes here this summer, and I just didn't realize that they only had one number to call. Had I know, I would of made sure it was my cell. Poor Madeline. She said that she thought we left her forever. I don't know where this is coming from. We rarely leave her, she has never been a daycare type setting, not even at a gym, no baby sitters other then family. She takes dance and gymnastics classes, sometimes I leave, other times I stay, she has never cared if I'm there or not. She isn't going to school,  I guess I have something else to mention to her therapist.