Saturday, September 27, 2008

illness has struck

I have not been great about posting this month, we've been sick all month. Gabrielle is on her third illness, two she passed on to me. I have not been handling them well, I felt like I was just getting my energy back after a nasty cold and now we all have a stomach bug. I am just hoping it's short lived since we are supposed to drive to Denver on Tuesday.....

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

wishing for an old dog to pass

Sounds horrid huh? It is. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to do the Denver therapy starting in Oct. I've asked my mom to come and help for one week, only one week out of several that I'll be there. The problem being that my dad has been on the Grand Canyon raft list for years, and guess when his time is finally coming for a three week raft trip. Yep, you got it, right when I leave for Denver. My parents have two dogs, one very elderly that they refuse to board so my mom won't come to Denver because of the dog. Sigh. I love dogs, we have one of our own, but he is going to have to be boarded so much that they are giving us a discount due to the frequency that he will be there.

I don't know how the actual therapy is going to go. Gabrielle can't be there, she can be with me between a glass wall watching Madeline but not in the room. I seriously doubt Madeline will go by herself, she can't even go to gymnastics class with me right outside (we now have permission for Ryan to attend class with her every week, that is the only way she is able to go). Gabrielle has never been left with some random sitter, plus the therapy is at a different time every single day. The hours range from 9am-4pm which makes it really hard to get one or even two people on a babysitting schedule. Last week I wasn't even able to leave her downstairs to put Gabrielle down for a nap. Madeline thought someone was going to come and take her, she'd be crying before I would get away from Gabrielle, who by then was awake and always refused to go back to sleep. Night time is when it gets interesting. She has to sleep with Ryan now so we've moved her mattress into the spare bedroom where they both sleep. That bedroom is right by the living room, I'm sitting here staring straight at it from the couch. She won't go to bed alone in there, even with the door open and she can look at us. So now we have to put the dog in the bedroom with her, put up the baby gate because she is afraid he is going to get out once she is asleep. For the last 3 nights she has put him under the covers with her, and he actually stayed there all night! I can't bring the dog with us to Denver, nor the cat who is how I can sometimes get her to stay downstairs while I put Gabrielle down for a nap. I have no idea how it is all going to work, but I do know that it is not going to be pretty.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

break through in therapy

Today was great for TheraPlay. I got my role down perfect, letting her completing guiding the play, but being engaged without directing her in any way. I also have a massive cold so it was all I got do not to fall asleep sitting there! In all our previous sessions, Madeline flits around to different toys, sometimes she gets stuck on one thing, and we do it over and over again. Last week it was playing Restaurant, she gives me food, I eat it, and we do it over and over and over again. She never takes the story line farther and develops it, it is always very simple, no depth. It has always been that way with all of her play, hence the reason they say her cognitive play is at a 2-3 year old level.

Today Madeline choose to play with the dolls, which is unusual. She doesn't like dolls, I think it's because she really doesn't know what to do with them. She spent 45 minutes playing with them, developing this story line that was very complex for her, she has never done anything like this ever. Of course the play had a theme, the parents were not around, usually sleeping, the big sister had to care for the babies. The children would spent the entire time "escaping" only to be "contained" by something, gates, cage, etc... And then finally coming home to the parents. Nothing like our real life, Madeline has never cared for her sister, we don't own any containment devices , but she does have anxiety about us leaving her, and in this play, she was the one doing the leaving, and was ok with it. It's all baby steps, but it's a step.

And we leave in less then 2 weeks for the evaluations!

Monday, September 8, 2008

our second try

We tried gymnastics today. Gymnastics has to be Madeline's favorite activity, it's all she talks about, and is always trying new flips off of things, etc... The day didn't start off well, I had a LLL meeting this morning. Madeline goes back and forth between tolerating and liking my meetings. I can't remember how she did at my last meeting, but I did a talk at for a newborn group a couple weeks ago, and it went similar to today. She spent the entire time in my lap, two hours all together. That is a long time for a child that really sits still. She wouldn't play, she wouldn't get a snack by herself, just sat in my lap. Then at the very end she freaked out insisting she had to have a banana right then. Only problem being I had no bananas, none with me, none at home, and I most certainly was going to drag a screaming Gabrielle (grumpy, teething, not sleeping child that she was) to the store when all she wanted to do was go home and take a nap. After a long grueling negotiation, we came to an agreement. We could go home as long as we bought 6 bananas later in the day. I have no idea where the number 6 came from, but there could be no less bananas. She even had me make a sign to hang on the van so I would not forget.

We eventually bought the fruit and made it to gymnastics. She was fine until all the children lined up to go into the gym, then she got started to get worried. It went downhill from there, within 7 minutes she was hysterical. She did go back in, but I had to go in every couple minutes and wave to her, and she came out a few times to hug me. By the end she looked like she was having fun. She did say she wanted to back, and even asked if she could go twice a week, which I just don't think I could handle! Madeline is insisting that she will not go back to dance though so I'm not going to push it, I'm just glad she is wanting to continue with something right now. Her theraplay tomorrow will change and now we will solely focus on her anxiety, I hope it can help her.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

week one of fall activities

It went as I expected. Story time was a hit as usual, Madeline loves the story time we go to. It's a waldolf story time in a tiny library. She could actually move up to the next level of story time there this winter, but she doesn't want to. She loves the singing, simple books, and the craft is her favorite. Gymnastics was off this week because of Labor Day so we'll attempt that next Monday.

Today was the first day of her pre-ballet class. Now this is the third year she has taken dance, so it's not new. Dance did not go well today. We talked all day about how I was going to be right outside the room, she even asked me not to go to the bathroom, and I agreed. This morning was a good morning for her, but as soon as we left the house, her mood changed. She got clingy, not happy at all. We wen to the children's museum for an hour, she wouldn't leave my side the whole time, next it was off to dance class. She lasted 10-15 minutes then broke down. She cried on my lap for about 10 minutes. I didn't say anything, just held her, then she decided she wanted to try it again. She went back in but every time I peeked in the door, she was teary eyed or trying not to sob while trying to dance. Poor little thing.

When we were walking out I asked she would like to come back next time, she said she wanted to. On the way home though she started saying that she didn't want to go back, it was boring, they only did baby stuff. Madeline has never talked like that before, I don't know if it was a defensive method or what. I have a call into her therapist to talk about the anxiety without Madeline around.