Spilled Milk

a new year

2012-01-08T15:18:00.002-07:00

A new year and another birthday. Madeline turned 9 yesterday! We celebrated early because she was supposed to have snowboard practice but it was canceled so we celebrated again. She went bowling early in the week before she went back to school after winter break. We invited 2 of her friends to go along. She is moving out the party age, we have limited friends that are girls, and she did not want to invite her entire class from school. 15 kids all together and only 2 of them are girls. Yesterday we went swimming , out for pizza and then made her birthday dinner. Her friend that spent the day with us wanted to sleep over last night so I agreed to try the sleepover thing again. We've tried two other things in the last year, once at another house in our neighborhood and then we had another neighbor girl try to sleep here over the summer. Neither one were successful. And neither was last night!

Madeline usually does not problems sleeping now but everything has to be perfect, right temperature, right night lights, right time, someone checking on her exactly every 20 minutes, on and on. She sleeps in my room at times when something isn't correct. She got scared with someone different in her room and after an hour of trying to problem solve, I called it quits and took the girl home. Madeline now says she will try again when she is 11, I thinking that might not be a bad idea. She doesn't want to completely miss out on events so I take her to sleepovers and then pick her up at 9pm or so to come home to her own bed. It has worked out ok so far. It was a bit of an issue with a dance team mandated sleepover with having to sneak her out the back so the other girls didn't see. We elected out of the gymnastics team sleepover completely last month since it didn't even start until 7pm at night, she is one of the youngest members and the majority of the girls are teenagers. One of these days...

sports

2011-12-05T19:55:00.001-07:00

Obviously Madeline is the one with the most sports in this house! Gabrielle did try a few news ones this year. It turns out that she loves baseball, soccer was close behind, but baseball was a clear winner. She was the only girl playing for the 2 months over the summer, I don't even think she noticed because she had so much fun. She would complain about going to soccer but then when she was there, she loved it. And couldn't wait until next week when she would start complaining on the drive over again...No idea if she will elect to do it again in the spring, she asked to play t-ball though. She is taking one ballet class and still enjoys gymnastics.

And on to Madeline. She discovered skateboarding over the summer! We spent 2+ days a week at the skatepark for 3 months straight. We didn't get out much on the river because of baby. She was able to do one week and then couple of river runs but that was all the kayaking for 20111. Hiking. My dad is an avid hiker, he usually does long mountain hikes in the summer and he discovered that Madeline can keep up with him. This is huge. My dad is 6'4, long legs with a stride to match and he waits for no one. She became his hiking buddy doing 8+ mile hikes, not flat ones, but 3-4,000 vertical feet. I finally let her do the rock wall at the rec center, not because I didn't think she could but because I had a feeling it would be a new hobby. By the second time she tried it, she was going up all 3 routes to the top. Now she is like a little spider monkey, she makes it to the top in just a couple minutes. And we'll just add that to the list of hobbies for someday when there is more time in the world because of course she starts to go to rock gym here in town and try it out, of course she wants to try outdoor rock climbing.

Organized sports.
Dance. Madeline is competing in lyrical, ballet, and tap. Add in a special ballet trio competition piece they asked her to do and all that adds up to be 5 hours of dance a week. All team dancers must take a stretch class once a week so they become more limber. Madeline loves that because now she can literally kick herself in the head and do the full splits. Gymnastics moved her to Level 4 competition team right after school started. And by the looks of things, Level 5 is not far behind. She already made one trip to Denver last month for dance, 2 more this spring and several for gymnastics. I'm just hoping to hit IKEA one of these trips! Snowboarding. She is on the team at Telluride. We really aren't sure what level she ended up in, but they told us it was 3 levels above her normal age level. And all boys, there are no girls at that level. One boy said he was in 7th grade so we are guessing 6/7th age group maybe.

school

2011-11-22T10:10:00.001-07:00

Both the girls are in school this year. Madeline is in 3rd grade of a 3/4 combo class and Gabrielle is doing 3-4 full days of preschool. It has been interesting. Madeline's teacher is wonderful and is working hard to get to know Madeline and all her issues. It has been a little rocky though. She spent the last two years with the same teacher who watched her go from being able to recognize only a few letters to reading at grade level. This year has been harder because by all appearances, Madeline looks to be normal. she can pass for it most of the time, and is at grade level. It isn't until you really dive into a subject that you realize that she is just compensating and has no clue what she is actually doing. She can read!! I still find that amazing, she reads books and can understand them. Reading is not fun for her, and it isn't something she will do of her own free will. I ask her to read for an hour a week and other then that we don't force her. I just want her to be able to do it but I doubt that it will be a passion of hers.

Up until 3rd grade she was able to process material quicker, as the work becomes harder, she is struggling to keep up. It takes A LOT of effort of our part to make sure that she actually understands what is going on. We spent hours a week alone working on math. Because she is dyslexic, she starts out at a disadvantage and then we have to work 3 times as hard at everything. Everything is a challenge and I do not say that lightly. Reading on the computer is harder for her to comprehend then reading off paper so I have to read it to her. She can't do math in her head while looking at the screen or take what is on the screen and put it on paper easily so I write it out for her and then she can do the problem. And then we have to try and put the answer back on the computer.

Madeline has two penpals. She only writes in cursive so she doesn't reverse her letters, they can not read cursive so I type out her letters for her. Testing is huge. We elect out of all standardized testing. It isn't an issue, she is either sent to the 1/2 classroom to be a helper or I keep her home. In 3rd grade they start regular tests, like a science test every other week. Many many tears because she takes weeks to learn new concepts with her memory issues. We might of finally got the testing figured out because she actually passed the last one. She doesn't know that she had been failing all of them. Her teacher, her therapist, and I work together to find what does work and what does not, lots of trial and error. Her teacher has been wonderful about assisting us in anything we need to do differently for her.

I did ask at one point if she wanted to homeschool again, she absolutely did not want to. I really work at keeping her self esteem up. She is never the only dyslexic child in her class, there is one above her and one below her so there is always one with her and several more children with learning issues in her class of 15. We bring her to school at 8:15, school starts at 8:30, she works from 8:15 to 9:15 every day with her therapist there. In the summer, she comes to our house first thing in the morning, 7:30! We do an session with a tutor for math for an hour on Mondays after school before she goes to gymnastics. He is amazing and volunteers for free to help her. She can do math but it takes her longer then the other kids that he is helping her learn short cuts and teaching her extra rules that she really needs. I started the tutoring thinking it was be a one time thing to get her over a hump we were having but then quickly realized that it was very helpful for her to learn all these extra tricks that he has, any little advantage goes so far with her. Last year I was starting to believe that Madeline would not struggle her entire life, that we had caught the dyslexia so early, she had done years of reading therapy, she would go on and it would not hold her back. I now know just how much it affects every aspect of her learning, that it will truly be a life long struggle but hopefully we can provide her with enough tools to work around it.

Dominic

2011-11-20T19:33:00.002-07:00

And this is just about this guy's story in a nut shell. Grumpy. I say that he hates being a baby. He has been crying since the very day we was born. I remember being up for 2 days straight because he was born in the middle of the first night and on the second night, he would.not.stop.crying. He stops sometimes, generally when he is asleep.

It is better (a little) then it used to be, he is almost 4 months old and no longer spending hours a day screaming but he still isn't a happy baby by any means. He is a carbon copy of Madeline, I'm hoping this isn't a life long problem! Dominic hates the car, hated being put down, hates anyone else holding him, isn't find of his siblings. It would be a reach to find something he does like. He doesn't like nursing to sleep, he has to be bounced, hard. A friend called the other day. Her: "What are you doing?". Me: "Jogging through the house with the baby strapped on me screaming." Yep. I've been kindly told by two different mothers that they thought I was bouncing the baby too hard. Um, no. Unless it looks like I am doing step aerobics, he just keeps screaming and won't go to sleep.

We leave a puddle of spit up breastmilk in our path everywhere we go. I even broke down and tried reflex meds, no difference. So we just deal with the 3+ shirt changes that I go through a day and his many outfits and burp clothes. We were at the museum a month or so ago and this older gentleman approached me to tell me that my baby was spitting up everywhere. I looked down expecting to see a small lake (very normal for him) since his tone wasn't exactly kind. Instead I see two small nickle sized dots on the ground. I really couldn't help myself from laughing at him. I did have to refrain from inviting him to hang around another 5 minutes and see a real spit up. All my kids have been pukers but Julian wasn't this bad and I never left the house with Madeline and Gabrielle when they were this age so I didn't have to deal with baby puke in the public eye.

I have another velco baby that doesn't sleep anywhere but on top of me. Do people actually produce babies that do anything else? If so, my genetic material sure doesn't allow for that. He only sleeps during the day if I am in motion so I pace around the house or attempt to cook while bobbing up and down. I don't advise cutting objects with sharp knives though. I just keep repeating that it is a short lived phase, it shall pass.

Julian

2011-11-15T11:38:00.004-07:00

So this little boy is amazing. Julian is the sweetest kid. People say that all the time, but out of my older 3, he really is. Always has a smile on his face, always in a good mood, he is just so happy all the time. Even his "fits" are laying down and pouting. He does get upset and cries at times, but rarely and that is usually when he gets tired. Everyone that works with him, and there a quite a few of them, adores him.

He still qualifies for weekly speech therapy through Early Intervention which he has been doing almost a year now. He comes up for his annual reassessment at the end of November and the local district is supposed to start the preparation to transfer his services over to them on his 3rd birthday. Julian's EI speech therapist has been great, he loves playing with her. This summer she met us as a park and did his speech therapy there while Gabrielle played t-ball next door. She was in a severe car accident shortly after school started and has been unable to see him yet this fall. I called right away and got the last slot with the only private SLP in town so we have been seeing her for the last few months. His progress with the new SLP has been amazing, he is talking so much more, still under 50 words, maybe 40. I also discovered a small speech playgroup lead by a SLP 40 miles away so he has been doing that 2 mornings a week.

This winter he is finally able to go outside! Last year he was not able to walk in snow boots due to his feet so he missed all outdoor fun. He doesn't understand about gloves yet...

Still loves all things train.

He isn't an easy toddler. He might not throw many fits but he likes to wander. A lot. Someone has to keep a constant eye on him. I was at a friend's house last week with some other moms. I went to bathroom, came out and went looking for Julian. He was found outside going down the sidewalk! We have to keep all doors deadbolted and the garage door shut at the house because he will and has just walked outside and down the street. Our gates are keep padlocked now because he can escape those as well. I've lost him at the park once for a horrid 15 minutes once since you can not take your eyes off him even for a second. Our house is becoming more and more child proofed as we discover what he can get into. Like an entire bottle of child resistant medication that he found after I hid it... It took 2 weeks for him to be normal again after that one. Julian prefers adults to kids. I take him to open gym, he will ignore the kids and find an adult that he thinks looks fun and attempt to play with them instead. He is very trusting and willingly goes off with anyone, he loves people, just as long as they are adults. We've gone through several babysitters in the last year and he cries when they leave, even on their first day! Our current nanny says he is her all time favorite child. Which I love to hear, it is hard enough paying someone to do things with your child that you want to do (more on that another day), but it is better when they truly care for them.

long time!

2011-10-26T11:37:00.008-06:00

Yes it has been a while! Life got crazy, and I didn't think I was going to continue with a blog. I just decided that I would keep it up as a record for the kids. So... where to start! I guess I'll do a brief recap of what they have been up to.

Julian is now 2.5 years old. He is still our sweet, little, quiet boy. He currently gets 7 hours of speech therapy a week to help him talk.

Madeline has been hard at work as usual. She was asked to join a dance team this summer and recently was moved up to the competitive gymnastic team as well. She keeps us hopping!

This is Dominic James. He will be 3 months old tomorrow. He isn't exactly the happiest baby out there. I say that he wasn't thrilled to be born and hasn't been enjoying life as a baby! He isn't colicky just very particular.

Gabrielle turned 5 recently! She is thrilled to be older.

He is 2!

2011-04-24T22:37:00.006-06:00

Well, almost. As of tomorrow morning anyway, but considering that tomorrow I have to work and I am wide awake at night now, this is as close as it is going to get. Sniff. My sweet little boy is 2, I just spent a good hour looking through pictures of the last 2 years, and it really has flown by. 2 years ago, this was little Julian Miles. An almost 9 lbs little boy that almost swore me off of having anymore children (please let the next baby NOT be posterior...).
And now look at him! I have more recent pics from today but that would involve getting up and getting the camera. Besides, I'm still denying his haircut, what was supposed to be a tiny trim at a salon last week, ended up in them cutting off most of his hair in a cut that my 8 year could of done a better job at.

We celebrated his birthday today. A day full of chocolate and trains, his favorite things. He is already far less attached to me then the girls were at this age. He cries when his sitter leaves, and cries when I make him go to bed to with me every night instead of his dad. He already will and has slept with Ryan with no fuss. He loves music, loves to dance. Anything that has wheels and moves. He spends his days playing with all his trucks and trains. He loves chasing his sisters, although does get annoyed that they are noisy and pester him, he prefers to be left alone. Now that it is warmer and this year he can walk, he has discovered the outdoors. If he could spend all day driving his trucks up and down our street, he would be a very happy boy. And swinging. He can sit and swing for hours, you get tired of it FAR before he ever will.

He does get frustrated at his minimal communication skills and will hit and throw things at me to convey that frustration. His little temper is small though, and he very quickly moves past things. And then he breaks out that beaming smile and laughs for no reason, just because he can.

Julian

2011-03-25T22:23:00.002-06:00

And Julian's pic didn't make it in the long post so he gets one of his very own. He really is such a sweet little guy, very mellow. I had to do an emergency home visit Wed morning, I had no choice but to drop him off with a sitter that he doesn't know at all and dash. I came back 2 hours later to him refusing to leave her side and crying when I picked him up to leave. I think he would go home with the mail man if I let him! He just loves everyone, and tagging along with his siblings. Still no talking after 4 months of speech therapy, he can say mama and sign more, other then that he has various noises he makes when he really wants something, and he has gotten excellent at making all sorts of expressions to get his point across. I was getting worried that when his IEP expired in early June, that he wouldn't qualify for speech therapy anymore, but at this rate, he isn't close to meeting a single goal so the chance of that happening is rapidly disappearing. He is able to understand more and more of what we say, he can follow simple instructions now, nod no, but he just does not verbally communicate often. He is fairly quiet and rarely even babbles, I guess it remains to be seen if this is just him, his low muscle tone affecting his speech this much, a combo of both, or something else.

March

2011-03-25T21:29:00.006-06:00

So this is what happens with 3 children. You start going through pics of the last several months and realize that some how one child got the short end of the stick. This is the only picture I could find of Gabrielle, oops. She has preferred to be on the other side of the camera and I could show probably 200 pictures that she has taken with the camera! She actually started going to preschool again here and there. At Madeline's school in the amazing little preschool room they have where they grind their own grain for snacks. Heck, I want to go there! It's my kind of place where the kids run around bare foot and explore up the hillside and out of sight at times. My goal for now is just to keep it low key, end this school year on a good note so that when next August rolls around, Gabrielle has a new sibling, and school starts back up that she will have pleasant memories of previously attending. Mostly since I do need childcare on days I work and finding a sitter is hard enough now, forget if I had 3 small children for them to watch.

I love this picture. And I also see that Madeline and Julian will have the same body type.

Still loving snowboarding. This was her 1st place prize for a race, 2nd place came in at double her time... She discovered the terrain park late this season and is learning how to jump and ride the rails. She came home last weekend after having flown by and passed ski patrol on a sleep slope, sounds about right, there are not too many adults that can keep up with her now. I certainly couldn't anymore. Next year I guess it is snowboarding team time, more then likely at Telluride which will require quite the commitment. Telluride has the extreme backcountry runs that Ryan prefers and the closer option doesn't.

Yep! New as of this week, she can really read! Madeline has been reading for a few months but at the see spot run level. She reads with her therapist but rarely has chosen to at home. I've never pushed but rather left easy reader books lying around, sometimes she will ask to read to me, but not often. I guess the unschooler inside of me isn't completely dead because I've just waited, wanting her to do it on her own. She discovered this fairy book series a couple months ago, they are not easy reader, but rather advanced. I've been reading them to her here and there but back to the 3 children thing, there isn't always enough time to read as much as she'd like. We did our weekly trip to the library on Tuesday and she found one of the fairy books there. And this is what she did with it! I cried. It has been 2 long years working towards this, 4-5 hours of language therapy a week. She read 20 pages that night and has read every chance she has got since. For the first and last time tonight, I pulled into the driveway only to turn around and drive the 45 minutes round trip back to school because she left her book in the desk. I couldn't bear to left her go all weekend without it when she is so excited about reading.

Halfway through all ready, And yes there is only one in there, I can't count how many times I've been asked that. It is going to be a long summer I think, if I am already this big and waddling around in March.

Let's try this again!

2011-01-30T20:06:00.003-07:00

I have a very good reason for not keeping up like I swore I would. I do really! Last baby has been busy sucking my life away, or maybe that is just how it feels? Due in early August and the little bugger is already performing gymnastics events in there. I've been slow announcing this time for multiple reasons. When you get to #4, you feel like you've uttered those words a few times before. I guess I am feeling a little defensive about the pregnancy. It isn't like it is a secret that all my children have some mild special needs, and yes I am quite busy. I am already aware of all that and I have not been interested in hearing it from others. Now that I am in the second trimester, it isn't possible to wear baggy clothes and pull off the look anymore so I've been starting to tell some here and there.

Timing is eh to me. This will be my closest spacing, 2years and 3 months between Julian and new baby. Julian with his current delays really is just a large baby himself. Ever since Julian was born I had been going back and forth, do I have to have another. There was no question in my mind with the first 3, they needed to be here. Some days I thought I could possibly get by with the three, and other days I'd look in my rearview mirror and see the heads and think one was missing. I had always said 3-4 children and we'd decide after #3. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't go on to have another and then seriously regret it in a few years and have another then. That is not want I wanted to do. As much as I love babies, I've had a baby for 8 years now, part of me wants to move on with my life, starting enjoying having older children, get rid of the massive amount of baby/toddler gear I have stored in the garage. I want to close this chapter of my life and move on with no regrets. I didn't think that would be possible without having another child.

Ryan and I were in serious talks about having another child, I did want Julian to be a bit older, when I discovered I was already pregnant and had been for some weeks. Which certain explains why I had been feeling like crap for a while. Never had a pregnancy where I still got periods before! Obviously we were open to the possibility of another child then or else some preventing would of been occurring. Honestly for me, it was nice to have the pressure removed from having to make the decision to actively try to get pregnant and to discover there was no deciding of what was the right time, etc... It was rather freeing for a person that is a compulsive planner. So there it is, and maybe that I am feeling more human again I might be blogging more and maybe you shouldn't hold your breath either.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T20:08:00.004-07:00

Next year I promise to spend more time blogging! I miss it, I keep thinking things will slow down and next week, next month, I will have more time, but that doesn't ever look likely. And I need to take more pictures, I am finding a month will go by without me picking up my camera, oops....

Madeline is doing so well this year. She is back to tearing up the slopes on her board this winter. She has jumped FOUR reading levels this school year already, she is at first grade, month one placement currently. She still has years of therapy ahead of her but she doesn't balk at doing it daily, it opens up a whole new world to her. We will start in 2011, the massive paper trail that is needed to get her always classified as dyslexic, this will allow her to receive alternative testing options, etc... for all of her school years. This will not be an issue for some time but come high school/college, it will be a must. This will be her last year with her beloved teacher who teaches a 1st/2nd combined class, next year Madeline will move on to the 3rd/4th class which will probably be more of a challenge for her, higher expectations, etc...

Gabrielle turned 4 in October. I can't remember what I went over in my last update, she only lasted at preschool for a short time. She just wasn't ready, wanted to be with Mama, I don't blame her. She is learning how to ski, loves tap dancing and gymnastics. She is much more interested in books then Madeline was at this age and will sit and "read" to herself for hours at a time. She loves just hanging out at home with me, she is certainly more of a homebody then Madeline is.

Julian is 20 months, and really the sweetest boy ever. He is no longer easy like he used to be. We discovered that he is rather delayed, especially in speech but he has issues in other areas as well. The evals he had this month put him at 12-13 months, so a good 6+ months behind. He doesn't talk at all, barely babbled, after he started speech therapy, he is rapidly trying to babble more. He will get 60 minutes of speech therapy for 6 months and get reevaluated. His gross motor skills are at 15 months, walking is difficult for him, he still will fall over if he is sitting with his legs out. He has seen 2 otho docs and multiple PTs this month about his legs, no one is in agreement about what to do with him. Both feet turn out, he walks on the side of one foot, nothing is abnormal in his bone structure, multiple x-rays of hips and feet turned up nothing. His gait is off, meaning he frequently has to stop and catch his balance, he just toddles around like a drunken sailer most of the time. Both ankles just collapse when he walks. We have been told everything from he will grow out of it to he has celebral palsy to he needs braces on his legs. What ever it is, I want to figure it exactly what we are going to do with his legs next month, focus on the communication, and then we see what happens.

As for Ryan and I, we are doing well. Busy. His work never ever slows down, he travels a lot more now, about a week a month in addition to his normal crazy schedule. My job is going, some months it is fine, others I feel it it is too much for what we have going on. I have been pleased with my decision to withdraw form grad school, I am sad, but now is not the right time.

Madeline writes

2010-10-17T23:02:00.006-06:00

So I am lying in bed tonight attempting to go to sleep and instead I kept thinking about how far Madeline has come in the last year. A year ago after she started working with her wonderful language therapist, she started to recognize letters and very slowly started learning them. She has therapy 5 days a week year around, in the school year her therapist goes to her school, in the summer she comes to our house at 7:30am. Early yes, but at least it goes doesn't ruin our entire day, we have the option of the entire day ahead of us afterwards. Next summer I think lots of this will be in her future!

Progress has been slow but Madeline is getting there. In the last couple months, she has really taken off, it is thrilling to watch her world open up. She attempts to sound out words, can read some here and there, can write sentences with assistance.

Madeline isn't at grade level and won't be for a while, but she is close to a 1st grade level which for her, is huge. She still has years of therapy ahead of her, every single little thing has to be painstaking taught to her, she does not easily grasp any reading concept. Next year we will start working on the paperwork and paper trail that is required in order to always have her dyslexia accommodated. She will require things like verbal testing, extra time to write, etc... for the rest of her academic career.

end of the summer

2010-08-21T21:45:00.002-06:00

I can't believe it is August, end of August actually. School starts next week, the summer flew by way too quick, we didn't get to do a fraction of what we wanted to do. I spent all of July studying for an exam. Madeline discovered a new sport that she loves, kayaking! She was going down the river on her second day, white water on her 3rd. Madeline has talked Ryan into learning how so they are heading out tomorrow for his first lesson. Gabrielle is *supposed* to start preschool two days a week next week, we shall see... Julian is growing up so fast. He is just shy of 16 months, still doesn't walk or talk, but is such a cheerful little boy.

Ryan's family has chosen not to be involved in our lives for the majority of our relationship. He had a neighbor as a child that was heavily involved in his life and has continued to be. Our children has known him as a grandparent, he eats dinner with us often, is included for all holidays, and worked for Ryan for the past 5+ years. We managed to get him to retire in May, he was unable to work any longer. He ended up having a double bypass the last week of June, we got a call early August 4th from the ICU. He had a major cardiac incident, spent two weeks in the ICU. It was very touch and go, he was on life support, we made the decision to remove it and see what happened. He is still in the hospital and is not doing well, along with the physical issues, dementia is rapidly settling in. He has no family, and only a couple friends so the vast majority of the work has fallen to us. He is getting transferred to a nursing home next week, long term prognosis is not good. All the arrangements, fielding the many confused phone calls from him daily, the social workers, doctors, the visits have been quite taxing on the family with no end in sight.

June

2010-06-28T17:34:00.004-06:00

I meant to do this early this month and never got around to it until someone reminded me about my monthly posting, thanks Sarah! We spent two weeks in Florida, our first real vacation in a very long time. I had rented a condo on the beach for 11 days and then we went to Orlando before flying out. The beach was a blast, the kids had so much fun. They spent all day every day outside playing. Our last night in the condo, Gabrielle got very ill and ended up in the ER. Out of all times she has ended up in the hospital, this was the first time that she had to go quickly. Usually I decide that she needs to go in, we gather our stuff, and head that way. This time I handed her to Ryan and told him he had to take her now, there was no time to get the other kids together. We ended up doing Disney with her lying in the stroller with a 102 temp, and then flying home with 3 sick children, always a joy especially with hours and hours of flight delays. But on to the beach....

Gabrielle spent her time befriending small creatures, birds, and this crab who actually followed her around for the better part of an hour!

Julian loved the sand and waves. He would crawl as fast as he could out into the waves, giggling every time a wave crashed into him.

Madeline spent all of her time like this.

And this.

And like this.

Ryan has yet to learn the art of relaxing.

It was a good vacation until the very end, we actually plan on doing it again very soon. Ryan has to do some work on a house in Cabo later this year and the owners have offered us all the use of their house, which I certainly will take them up on!

and one for May

2010-05-27T22:42:00.002-06:00

Since May is almost over, I guess it is time for me to make an appearance. Just doing the usual and then some has kept me busy. My program at the health dept is up and running. I put in over 40 hours already this month training, creating forms, etc... 40 hours doesn't sound like much but for someone who doesn't have regular childcare, and a baby who is a night owl, it was tough. A little over half of those hours was in-office time without children, from now on my work time will be much less and much more child friendly.

I have to admit that I really enjoyed working professionally again. I have "worked" over the years with LLL but it is almost always with children in tow. I speak at meetings, present topics to various groups, with a baby or toddler attached to me, this was different and I loved it. Not enough to actually commit to doing it more, I do admit that 2 different positions become available at the health dept that I was qualified for and would of loved to have, I entertained the idea for 2 seconds knowing that I enjoy being around daily for my children more than I want to be working outside the house (mostly) right now.

Juggling the program I now supervise, studying for an exam this summer, and 3 children has made me realize that I can do more. I am seriously considering going for my masters in science/nursing. I already have spoken with a university that accepted all of my old college credits, I am short 3 classes to be admitted to the program. I had tested out of Biology and math 11 years ago when I was taking classes for nursing, now I need those credits and doubt I can pull off testing out at this point in my life. I am giving myself some more time to mull it over before I commit, this is something I do want to do, just is this the right time? I wouldn't start until the fall, I need to finish my current studying first!

because...

2010-04-20T19:32:00.002-06:00

I am posting because apparently it has been a month since I have had the time! Next week or later this week *might* be calmer so maybe I will be back later. Job is in full swing, I have hired NINE peer counselors! yes, you read that right. 4 are guaranteed a position, one is conditional, and the rest will be trained and then placed on inactive status waiting for a position to open up. It has been rough coordinating everything, baby, activities, all the calls, office time, etc... And I thought I was always on the phone previously, I truly have reached another level now with that, I feel like one of my 3 phones is always ringing.

One of the perks of working in lactation is that no one minds a nursing baby! I have Julian brought to me every few hours to eat and he has been doing well with it. I am in a lull at the moment, employees hired, I put them through a 25 hour training in May, and right now I am just slowly working on training material, and lining up job shadowing. I am looking forward to June, everyone will be trained and other then 3 meetings a month, my job will be mostly at home.

my child is a ski bum

2010-03-20T20:31:00.002-06:00

I just counted the days that I happened to have marked on my calendar, I have 35 days marked on there since the week of X-Mas that Madeline has gone snow boarding. I'm sure there was more, but 35 is not bad for a child, I think many adults would be envious of that!

and it is March

2010-03-08T19:54:00.014-07:00

It has been busy around here lately, and the snow is still here, blech. February was a whirl wind month of lots of illness, studying, and our regular life. Gabrielle got pneumonia, we discovered later it was RSV, then Julian got it, went on a 5 day nursing strike, AND got a stomach bug all at once. Needless to say, he got IV fluids and lost a few lbs.

Madeline's school does this big annual trip to a lodge in the mountains every winter. It is a overnight trip, Ryan went with her since this was right during the RSV period.

She had so much fun!

Madeline still spends every second that she can up snowboarding. She is not pleased that this is the last month before the slopes close for the season.

We have never had this much snow while we have lived in this house. This is my living room window, this window is high off the ground due to our sloped lot, it is basically as high as a 2nd story.

Somebody is into everything now.

And he seems to think that he is cute as well.

Gabrielle is ready for summer. I told her she couldn't go outside in sandals so she changed, sort of.

See, into everything.

I can't tell yet if Julian's eyes are going to be a darker hazel or turn brown. Right now they are the same as Madeline's, they look light brown but when you really look at them, you see green as well.

Ryan was working late yet again tonight, I had a tired Gabrielle who wanted me to lay with her while she went to sleep and a tired baby boy. I left the baby with Madeline and went in with Gabrielle for 10 minutes, and this is what I came out to.

our january

2010-01-24T07:31:00.008-07:00

Has been a busy one. You can expect a long, random post every now and then from me, there just is not enough time to do small frequent ones at the moment.

This is an old pic, but Julian is crawling. He is all over the place doing an army crawl. I was making dinner in the kitchen last night and here he comes crawling down the long hallway to join me. Cute little bugger. He will be 9 months old tomorrow which I can not believe.

I have been studying and studying and studying. Gabrielle has had more free time and less supervision as you can see. I am attempting to finish an intense 3 month class in less then 2, and I am getting close, I think I might be done in another 2 weeks. My reason for working my butt off is that then I can hit the books for my IBCLC exam. I am hoping to take it this year but may postpone it a year if I am not able to get enough study time in the next few months. I only have one chance a year, it is always only offered in July. My other reason for working so hard is that my grant for my new job has been sent in as of last week, I hope never to work on another grant ever again by the way! The money is expected to roll in March 1st and then I have to hit the ground running.

It has been snowing as you can see. We have officially run out of places to stash the white stuff.

The good news is that the snow mounds are so high that every one makes a great sledding hill! I caught Madeline and a friend on the roof of the house yesterday trying to sled down. The snow hill was up to the roof so I guess I don't blame them for thinking it would be fun.

Once we dug out the hot tub, we discovered that the last storm dropped so much snow at once, 40 inches, that the cover broke in half. We had to quickly drain it and cover it for the winter.

For the first time we hired a crew to come out and shovel the roof, we had 5 feet of snow on the roof and it had to come off. It would of taken Ryan the entire weekend and he refuses to climb up there after falling off last year!

My backyard. My living room is raised from the backyard, you have to go down an entire flight of stairs to get to the yard, and the snow is up to the window in the living room.

Madeline has been snowboarding and snowboarding and snowboarding. She went 4 times this week, not bad for a 7 year old whose dad works 60 hour weeks and two younger siblings. She is quite good. This hill is less then 10 minutes from our house, offers challenging runs and night skiing. Ryan took up her to Purg the other day, which is the big ski resort 40 minutes away. She spent the entire day doing all the black runs, which is what she does at Hesperus as well. She quickly learned how to board in all this recent powder but does have a problem once in a while like the other night where she sunk up to her chest in the fresh snow. She is going up again today, snowboarding is all she thinks and talks about, I didn't expect to have this problem with a child when she was 7 years old!

The pic didn't show it but her face is actually wind burned from all the time spent flying down the slopes.

what we have been up to

2010-01-10T19:41:00.007-07:00

A Roomba is great fun in this house. It cleans the floor for me, the girls chase it around, and Julian tries to catch it crawling.

What Madeline decided she wanted for her birthday. A ladybug cake, much easier actually then the gumball machine cake I made for Gabrielle a while back.

When you are the third child, you are just so happy that you get to sleep that you don't care where. One of the girls never would of been sleeping like this.

Happy to be 7 years old.

Happy new year!

2010-01-02T06:53:00.008-07:00

A day late but hey it counts!

Madeline just wrapped up two weeks of snowboarding lessons, she is doing quite well. I've been taking her to the little ski hill in town. I never used it as a child, my dad always took us up to the "real" mountain since he was/is an avid snowboarder. I'm loving this little hill. It is less then 15 minutes from my house, has two tow ropes for the kids, and is quite cheap. Perfect for learning on.

Right next door to the hill is the skating rink which we are just starting to use as well. Taking the kids ice skating is rather difficult when there are 3 of them, two unable to skate, a mother who does not skate and is accident prone enough that she doesn't want to learn at this point in her life, and a father who barely skates! Madeline attempted it last week, she fell and fell and fell. I could not believe that she kept trying but she did and is asking for lessons. Another thing to add to my list of things to do I guess.

Crap. I put the pics in the wrong order and I'm not interested in moving everything around right now so we'll just go backwards. This is Madeline at the top of the little rope tow they use to teach the kids how to use on. She is up towards the top middle in the pink jacket.

This rope goes very slow and is literally on the ground, they have to pick it up and then kneel down, hold on and keep their balance while it pulls them up. A rope tow is actually quite tricky to learn how to use it.

And here she is on the left snowboarding down! She can turn and stop without falling, sometimes, now she just needs lots of practice.

our christmas

2009-12-26T21:11:00.009-07:00

Merry Christmas!

another train post

2009-12-21T22:25:00.009-07:00

We live in a town with one of the few remaining steam powered trains. Needless to say the train is a big deal here! The children love watching it going by, and riding it even more. Right after a snowstorm last week we went on the train for the Polar Express.

Gabrielle was just a little excited to go.

We don't do Santa but that doesn't stop the girls from getting excited to see a Santa!

Waiting for Santa to get on the train.

I was quite surprised when Gabrielle crawled out of her seat to go dance with the chefs.

lessons

2009-12-20T19:42:00.003-07:00

Madeline has her first day of snowboard lessons tomorrow. She spent tonight practicing getting her bindings off and on.

She is just a little excited!

I decided to start with snowboarding with Madeline. She is quite physical, I didn't see the need to go with skiing and then switch since she wants to snowboard instead of ski. My entire family snowboards including my father who averages 3 days a week in the winter and is quite the extreme boarder. Somehow I think Madeline will be a natural.

changes

2009-12-18T21:36:00.002-07:00

Yes, I know I've been neglecting this blog lately, just when I think life can't get any busier then it does! So what have I been doing? Being a mom of 3 means that someone always needs something, someone is almost always still awake at night. Madeline needs 2 dozen muffins for school tomorrow or I get "conned" into baking gingerbread cookies for the entire school. The cat ate the ribbons on the tap shoes. There is always a dishwasher to load, laundry to fold, it really is amazing how much laundry we go through now as a family of 5.

All is going well, Julian is still a chunky, happy boy. Gabrielle has become our recent comedian, the things that come out of her mouth are amazing! She has developed a bit of a cursing problem, both Ryan and I are to blame for that one.... Her favorite word right now is "fuct", oops. Madeline is developing an attitude that would rival a teenagers, is almost 7 the new 12?

I got a job offer! And am going back to school, oh boy. I am short one measly class and then I will qualify to sit for the IBCLC exam. I have my thousands of clinical hours in that they require, and all other classes except one, so starting Jan 4th, I'll be working on that. My goal is to sit for the exam in 2010. About that job offer, I can't stop thinking about it so I'm taking that as a sign that I'll be accepting. WIC wants to start a breastfeeding program in their local clinic, I've been asked to run it. It will be difficult to get off the ground, I'll be in charge of hiring, training, and supervising the counselors, but once the program is up and running then I will be able to work mostly from home. Funding isn't arriving until March so until then, my time will be minimal. I'm hoping to be wrapping up with my class by the time the job is really switching into full gear.

I wasn't looking for a paid job, this one just fell into my lap. It really is too good to pass up, there are few jobs in the lactation profession in my area, almost none that would allow me to work mostly from home. This one is a perfect fit for me. Extra money is always nice but I'm doing this for me. I've been at home for 7 years now, LLL work for 5, I have been itching to do something professionally, hence the whole reason I decided to try to sit for the IBCLC exam in 2010. This job is something that I could very happily do for years and still mostly be with my children, while keeping my skills and work experience current.

Dec

2009-12-13T21:40:00.004-07:00

Long story but we ended up with another kitty. She was another rescue, I have a soft heart for homeless animals. Jasmine and Cinnamon have become best buds. I think we are going to need a bigger chair soon!

Must keep playing, so tired! This little guy has this annoying habit of going to bed and then waking up shortly after to play again despite being exhausted. Last night he was falling asleep standing up but kept on.

turkeys and tinkerbell

2009-11-24T08:17:00.004-07:00

We have some random illness passing its way through the house right now. Put of sheer desperation yesterday, I finally got creative. I hate art projects with a passion, but I put aside that loathing and we created turkeys!

Here is our resident Tinkerbell. This is what happens when a 2 year and a 3 year decide to cut each others hair and then the 3 year later decides to finish the job.

Goodbye Dobbie

2009-11-13T17:10:00.006-07:00

Our dog is gone. Dobbie was like our first child, we've had him since before we had children. He turned aggressive and starting biting Gabrielle, he went after her a couple weeks ago and bit her in the face, not breaking the skin, but it was enough that I knew he could not be around children anymore.

He had been a large part of our family, always there. I miss him very much

the kitchen

2009-11-03T19:59:00.004-07:00

Turned out awesome. It was a long, painful project with several large bumps in the road. I will never take for granted having a working stove again! Next time we go to do a remodel though, I'll be highly tempted to move out for the duration....

Gabrielle is 3!

2009-11-02T20:15:00.006-07:00

She is so thrilled. She keeps saying, " I am big!". We ran into a problem with her little party. Gabrielle doesn't have many friends, just siblings of Madeline's friends and considering that half of Durango seemed to have H1N1 (already it so we were good there!), we were lucky to have two sisters show up for her party.

Gabrielle saw this cake in a book and had to have it.

She is getting quite shy. After this pic was taken she almost burst into tears because we were singing to her, poor thing.

Julian turned 6 months old the day after. I just realized that this is the only pic I have of him for the last month. Oops. Such is the sad tale of a third child I suppose.

2009-10-13T16:07:00.005-06:00

Gabrielle is taking a little dance class. She loves it. She begged to take a tap class like Madeline, but settled for any class!

Madeline is still taking her gymnastics but decided she wanted she take dance again. I signed her up for a ballet class, the first day she went, she insisted she was staying for the tap class right afterwards as well. She takes an hour and half straight of dance classes once a week. Her instructor suggested that she audition for the Nutcracker this weekend and she wants to! We'll give it a shot, I'm proud that she want to try but part of me doesn't want to commit to the schedule that they demand.

Julian will be 6 months old soon. He WANTS food. He is such an easy going baby, never crying but if you try to eat in front of him then he gets peeved. The girls never wanted food this bad, he will literally rip food out of my mouth. This morning he started sobbing because I was carrying food for the girls he wanted it. I gave him a little banana chunk in a mesh bag. He was utterly thrilled,. He sat in his saucer, shoving the banana in his mouth, and smacking his lips.

Julian isn't quite the little chunk like he used to be. He had a major growth spurt and lengthened out. I do miss the triple chin.

checking in

2009-10-11T20:08:00.002-06:00

Wow. I can't believe it is fall already. Life with three children is quite busy, I feel like I have no free time anymore. What little time I do manage to have I have been busy doing LLL work. I have had more calls in the last few weeks then I have had in months, I spent hours and hours last week alone on the phone. Every time I walked in the door I had a message or two waiting for me. I love doing breastfeeding support but do wish it wasn't quite so time consuming.

Madeline is still thriving at her school. She is becoming quite the little social butterfly. Ryan went to eat lunch with her the other day. She gets her lunch (it was hot lunch day), and goes and sits with the 3rd and 4th graders. Ryan asks her why she isn't eating with her classmates, "but Daddy, these are my friends.". LOL.

we are in love

2009-08-31T14:51:00.002-06:00

All of us, with Madeline's school. She loves it there! She actually got upset over the weekend because there was no school, never saw that one coming. Madeline did very well last week, she did vomit all in my car moments after picking her up the first day, from anxiety of that day I guess.

There are 12 students in her class, that is all the 1st and 2nd graders in the school. She is doing fine with the fact that only 2 of the 12 are girls, and the rest are boys. Ryan drops her off at 8:30am everyday, and I pick her up at 3pm. I have time today to blog because Ryan has two computers ready to install in her classroom so he was going to pick her up and do that.

Today was Pizza day, the 7th and 8th grade class order pizzas and serve the younger children. Every grade has their own day they spend outside, the older kids, spend days out instead of one day. So they might not go out for a couple weeks and then they take a 2-3 day backpack trip (how cool is that!), they fund those trips from Pizza day. Thursdays is hot lunch day where the parents take turns cooking for all the kids. The rest of the days, I'm having to get used to getting up really early and packing a lunch, yuck.

I can see Madeline staying at this school for a number of years, they go from preschool until 8th grade. It is such a warm, creative environment. We might pay extra for the next few years to have her go her and then to have her therapist come and work with her instead of going to the dyslexia school where everything is there but the focus is certainly more educational.

The Christian aspect of the school is very minimal. They have a weekly chapel time, where the Pastor comes in and tells a Bible story, which I'm fine with and that is it. I ended up knowing a number of parents and very few of them are religious, everyone just comes for all the wonderful programs/events the school does.

how to keep a house clean

2009-08-27T12:07:00.008-06:00

You want to know how? Really?

Wait for it.....

If you cage your children all day then there are no messes to clean up!

With the house covered in sawdust, plaster, etc... from the kitchen project, I broke out a never used playpen for Julian to roll around in. Gabrielle loves climbing in there and playing with all his toys.

Madeline started school yesterday. She had a good first day, she enjoyed it and was excited to go back today. We are bribing the school to keep her as a student. Nope, but it feels like it. The school relies heavily on parent volunteers. Parents even vacuum classrooms, answer the phones in the mornings, etc... Ryan looked at the computers in the classrooms (ancient) and decided he needed to do something about it. He often gets given used but almost new computers when a company upgrades. He had 6 computers and a laptop to give the school so he has been busy wiping those out and loading programs on them. Two will go in Madeline's classroom and the laptop will be used on Wilderness Days. Once a week, the grades take turns spending half a day outside doing something.

These pictures got stuck together somehow, no idea about that. This picture actually doesn't show it well, but Julian looks so much like Ryan.

4 months old

2009-08-25T21:43:00.005-06:00

Someone has been rolling all over the place. I caught him this weekend trying to very hard to scoot. Amazing what 4 months can do!

Gabrielle has been "showing" Julian things, like her laptop. A play one of course!

no time

2009-08-21T14:35:00.010-06:00

There needs to be more hours in the day, I just can't get everything done anymore. Just one more child really makes it so that there just isn't any extra time. Or maybe it is just my non-sleeping children? Who knows but here once again is a long random post. The only reason I am finally able to do it is because I'm too tired to move off the couch right now! Julian has had roseola and has been a cranky little guy this week.

This was Madeline off to gymnastics camp one day. She went for two weeks 9-4pm so all day and did really well! It was her first all day thing she has ever done, great prep for school which starts next week. She is nervous but we have spent months preparing for this so I'm hoping that will pay off. We got to go into her classroom yesterday, she picked out her desk and her first job, she is caring for the class pets for a month.

Gabrielle is having to get used to be the "big sister" that is around most of the day without Madeline. You can tell how she feels about that....

For those that know Hannas, this is a size 100! Madeline wore this one when she was 4 years old! All of her 90's are too small, the dress in the previous picture is a 90 and barely fits as you can see.

This is our new house. Nah, but we did outgrow our garage. It was built in the 80's for tiny economy cars, there is simply no room for kids toys, bikes, and being able to park a car in there as well. We had this shed at a previous house of our's, a renter left it behind one year. We paid $180.00 to get it moved 20 miles, that was money very well spent! If you want to know how we moved it, on a tow truck of all things!

I was walking out to the trampoline last night with the kids and noticed the leaves are already changing. Sigh. Winter is coming.

This has been dinner lately, because of below.

Yep. That is my kitchen. What the picture doesn't show is that when they ripped out the ceiling, someone stood on the stove. It is a glass topped stove, and therefore cracked all 4 burners. I can't even brown meat to stick in the crockpot now. Hopefully the kitchen will be finished late next week. And apparently now we will be getting a new stove as well!

the big baby girl

2009-08-12T11:47:00.004-06:00

I just had to buy Gabrielle all new shoes because I couldn't squeeze her feet into her old ones anymore, even in her sandals her toes were hanging over the edge. Her new size, size 9. She is 2.5 years old! Some of her 3T clothing just barely fits, the rest is too small, I know she will will solidly be in 4T when the weather starts to change here very soon. She is signed up for a Mommy and Me dance class next month, her leotard is the one that I bought Madeline last fall for her dance class then!

Sometimes I forget that she is just really 2. She has been having a difficult time recently I think that she has realized that this thing called a baby brother is here to stay. She is back in my bed sleeping and will only let me put her to sleep once again. She had happily been going to bed with Ryan for months.

Yesterday since Madeline was gone all day, I left Julian with our new babysitter and Gabrielle and I went off for the day. She had an entire day of her choosing, swimming, pizza, ice cream, a trip to the toy store, and a walk downtown. And yes, we have a babysitter now! I'm thrilled to pieces with her, while I haven't been able to leave Gabrielle with her yet (back to the Mama thing she has going on right now), she watches Julian and Madeline. If I have to leave all 3 then I've been arranging it for times where Ryan is here as well until Gabrielle gets more used to her. She is a college student and starts back 2-3 days a week soon but I've already booked her for 2 days a week, one day of watching someone for a various appointment or picking Madeline up for school and taking her to her activities and then another day of helping around the house. I should of done this years ago, after all now days we don't have that village around to help with children.

Gabrielle rolling around pretending to be like "brother Julian".

10 minutes

2009-08-04T12:21:00.007-06:00

Given ample computer time, all of these pictures would of been their own blog entry and story. Now days my time is very limited and I'm making do with with what I can do before someone needs me, I give it 10 minutes.

This is what happens when you let a 2 year old pick out paint colors for her room. The picture doesn't quite give it justice, this a very bright blue. Ryan was still planning on sleeping in there with her only for the past week, Gabrielle will not let me out of her sight so she has been upstairs in my room with me.

Madeline made this the other night on the back deck.

Julian is quite the squishy baby, I love his little fat rolls! He is rolling over now, which seemed to happen much too quickly.

This is the reason Ryan and I didn't go out last night for our 8 year anniversary. He didn't want to be seen with me! And no this isn't from another ER trip. Although did you know you can get port wine stains lightened for less money then 5 stitches cost? Something is wrong with that. I wasn't born with a birthmark but I had one large area appear when I was a teen, over the last few years, more have appeared and they are getting darker. I'm getting tired of covering them with makeup and they bother me without so I am getting them lightened. They use a laser to do it, it doesn't hurt, feels like a shock rather, but because I bruise quite easily, I look like this. I go back in 6 weeks to see how many more sessions I will need.

We have finally been able to go to our local creek hangout. Once the big snow melt is over, the creek in town is a perfect place for the children to splash around in. It isn't a beach, but it will have to do living in landlocked Colorado.

she can read

2009-07-31T19:27:00.003-06:00

Yes, you read that right! And yes, I am talking about my dyslexic child. She started reading a sentence this week, "tap a tan pan", it isn't easy for her but she is doing it. Madeline's therapist has been worth every single penny we pay her.

Julian pics

2009-07-27T21:39:00.007-06:00

I am 3 months old now! Rolling over and talking up a storm.

Who me?

Hey! What are you looking at?

I will fall asleep anywhere!

Tonto and the tooth

2009-07-27T21:06:00.006-06:00

A week ago the local railroad had special event. It was Lone Ranger Saves the Train or something like that. Tonto from the event turned up the other day at a park we were at.

Madeline got to go for a ride. She loved it. It makes me really regret the horse riding lessons that I almost signed her up for this summer but decided not to at the last minute. That might be a must for next year. Both Ryan and I had our own horses as children and were avid riders, while I'm not willing to own a horse again, riding lessons I can handle!

And another tooth bites the dust! She has two more loose ones, at this rate, I'm not sure how she is going to eat soon....

we found kids!

2009-07-20T22:30:00.003-06:00

Neighborhood children that is. Finally. Ever since we have moved into this subdivision over 2 years ago, I have wanted local play mates for Madeline, it hasn't happened. Most of the houses on our street are owned by older couples, there are a few families sprinkled in, but they haven't been interested in getting together or the ages just aren't right.

A little over a week ago I ended up with a 9 year old girl in my house that I had never met before. She was walking by, liked our toys, and asked to play. Getting her out of my house after several hours proved to be quite a feat! Last night she was ringing our doorbell at 8:30pm, this morning at 9:20am. I haven't minded, Madeline is thrilled to see her, and by association, another girl age 7 who lives two doors down is now playing over here as well. Her family has never been friendly to us, not even returning our waves when we walk by, so this was a welcome change.

I'm not an overprotective parent in my mind but I am not comfortable letting Madeline walk down the street and into someone's house who I have never met. One mom I never even talked to until today when I called to RSVP to a party, her daughter had brought the invite over. The other said nothing to me when she showed up on my doorstep this morning looking for her daughter, not even a "thanks for watching my kid while I left the house" which I didn't even know the mom wasn't home until all the girls walked down there to drop off the one girl. This might take some getting used to.

The other girl in Madeline's class for school lives directly behind us through the open space in our subdivision so I'm imagining it won't be too long before those two are going back and forth between houses. Gabrielle is having a difficult time being excluded, all these children are the youngest in their family so they are not used to having younger sibs tagging along like all of Madeline's other friends are. Madeline is the youngest out of all these girls anyway, she has been keeping up well, I'm actually quite impressed. Maybe school won't be so hard after all.

first call

2009-07-08T20:50:00.003-06:00

to poison control that is. For Gabrielle. Either she is falling over a pretend pebble or finding other things to get into, every day brings at least one injury for her. Tonight while we were eating dinner, she decided she was not hungry and running around the house, a couple minutes later she comes screaming to me. She had found a bottle of nail polish in Madeline's room, opened it and painted all the way from her clitoris to her anus. Needless to say, it didn't feel so great on sensitive skin.

I stuck her screaming in a bubble bath while Ryan called. Of course they had to consult about that one, they hadn't run across it before, just our luck. In the end they decided that what I was already doing was the right course of action, and just to keep her in there for an hour. We finally got it all off, and now she is in bed. That child.

our 4th

2009-07-07T22:24:00.012-06:00

We went up to my parent's house in the mountains for the 4th. We haven't managed to make to up there recently, but love celebrating the 4th in that town so we made sure we made it. My parents build this house 2 years ago, for most of the year, they live up here Thursday-Sunday.

It looks tiny but the lot is on the side of the cliff so the house is actually 3 story, though it is narrow.

The girls love it up there. I barely saw Madeline the entire weekend. She was out the door and gone before I even woke up!

The old chairlift chair now used as a swing is always a hit.

The town is tiny, very few full time residents since they have to be quite hardy. Telluride is the closest town you can drive to, and at times the pass is closed in the winter.

The parade is always an adventure here, since law enforcement really doesn't exist here. Some years there is a certain local who puts kegs on his float and hands out cups of beer during the parade.

Back to the minimal law enforcement, same goes for fireworks. No restrictions. People set off their own fireworks before and during the town's firework display. My sister and her fiancee where busy setting off their box of them when a firetruck comes roaring up. Only the guy jumped out with a boot in his hand and a thumbs up. He was collecting donations for next years fireworks!

If you have never experienced fireworks in a mountain town, it is rather interesting. The sound echos off all the mountains.

blissed out

2009-07-07T22:19:00.001-06:00

I forgot to post this one!

2009-07-07T22:13:00.002-06:00

Summer is flying by, though I am now hobbling around so some things have slowed.

Two children hanging on me+stumbling= ER visit for stitches

Happy 2 Months Julian!

2009-06-25T14:00:00.003-06:00

children pics

2009-06-24T22:30:00.005-06:00

Nice shot of Julian's double chin!

Madeline has been busy wiggling another loose tooth in hopes that it will fall it soon and she will get more money....

Working like Daddy.

Thomas

2009-06-22T13:29:00.011-06:00

This is what we got to do over the weekend.

Once a year, Thomas comes to our local railroad for three days. And since I have a 2 year that adores all things train, we had to go.

We have one of the few remaining coal power steam engine railroads left. What was once a vital link to the outside world for Durango is now a tourist attraction and an obsession for a toddler. We see the train going though town often and she screams every time she thinks she hears the whistle.

The regular train ride to Silverton is a very painfully slow adventure that I will not take with children, but short 30 minutes trips like Thomas and Polar Express are perfect.

Ryan as he always is with a phone glued to his ear.

The tracks go through town and then along the river.

the new smile

2009-06-11T20:58:00.003-06:00

She is quite proud of her first lost tooth. We are not counting the other two that were lost in a table vs. mouth accident several years ago!

Haven't we been down this path before?

2009-06-09T18:45:00.003-06:00

Apparently it doesn't matter. We are doing therapy yet again with Madeline for anxiety. Last time I saw no improvement but that was with a different clinic and this new one wants us to try it again with a professional that is trained in trauma. I want to scream at the thought of juggling 3 children and care for two of them weekly to take her into a clinic. As if keeping Gabrielle and Julian quiet in my own house 5 days a week for language therapy isn't fun enough. I didn't bother asking the hourly rate, I can guarantee it is over a hundred an hour though, it always is. If only my insurance would decide to cover any type of therapy then I'd be set.

2009-06-08T15:08:00.000-06:00

Julian is 6 weeks now. I've been thinking about how different my experience with him is then from last time with Gabrielle. Gabrielle was very ill by now, in the hospital, and O2 that we wouldn't get rid of for 6 months. I looks at Julian and it is hard to believe it is the same time frame. He is just so healthy with big fat cheeks. Gabrielle was wasting away when she was this age. I remember the day she turned 2 months old, I picked her up that morning and knew it was time to return to the hospital. She weighed exactly 8lbs, I could feel every bone in her spine, her skin just hung off her body. Julian is so round, I can't feel any bones on his body that is sure! It is sad to think about how different it could of been had Gabrielle not been exposed to pertussis.

Julian and Gabrielle at 6 weeks.

too good to be true

2009-06-03T17:37:00.002-06:00

I had the appointment today with other physiologist. After waiting for a while, I find out they failed to mention to me that this appointment was not with the doctor, he doesn't even see patients at that center. This was intake appointment for me to give them a small amount of personal history, less then 20 minutes, and then fill out paperwork to see if I could move on to the next step. Next week Ryan and I have to meet for an hour with the family assessment director. After that appointment then we get put on the waiting list for the doc. Nice, huh.

I've been warned that this doc is med happy, I decided lying in bed last night that is not a bad thing. Madeline's sleep has slightly improved, but I'm started to see the old anxiety return. Julian had an upset tummy last night, I wasn't able to lay down with Madeline when she wanted to go to bed (usually I just go to bed at the same time as her), to say she was upset is an understatement. She cried and cried because I couldn't lay there and touch her foot. She was too scared to go to sleep. We've been dealing with her anxiety for over 10 months now. We've done months of therapy, spent thousands on it because our insurance refuses to cover it, there was no improvement with the therapy. What gave us the greatest improvement was the listening therapy we did at the Star Center. I have all the equipment for it, we had to buy it, so I'm going to start that up again. If we get offered medication for her anxiety though, I'm going to accept it. Madeline already has enough strikes against her, she deserves some bit of normal in her life.

water fun in CO

2009-05-29T07:59:00.004-06:00

It requires some creativity because the weather changes every 5 minutes here! It hasn't gotten above 70 or so for a couple weeks but the girls are waiting to do regular summer activities. So we came up a solution. Water fun....

followed up by getting warmed back up!

worrying

2009-05-27T06:44:00.003-06:00

Madeline has been averaging 5 hours a sleep for days now. I am going to stop all meds today, they are not working and I suspect one is making the problem worse. Our doc informed us yesterday that she can't help us any longer, we have to go to a child physiologist next. We have one that we used over the summer, fall, winter for play therapy sessions. I was not impressed with him and have not contacted him regarding this latest anxiety issue. We got a referral to another physiologist, I've heard his name around town before, all very good things. I was warned that he was booked out until August, but for once luck was on my side. I called directly after a cancellation so I go in next week for an intake appointment about Madeline.

I am starting to get quite concerned, I have been before, but Madeline is getting depressed. I spend all my time intervening between her and Gabrielle because Madeline is being mean. Doing things like stopping on her feet, slamming her hands into things, incidents that happened at times before, but now she is doing them all day long and is unfazed by consequences. Or Madeline is melting down into a puddle on the floor every two seconds because she is so tired. She spent half the weekend just lying around, absolutely not normal for her. She wouldn't eat one day saying she was too tired to and she keeps complaining that her stomach hurts. She was up all last night. She started off in downstairs with Ryan and Gabrielle, by 10:30 was up in my room just lying there. She watched a movie in the room off and on during the night. I didn't catch her actually sleeping until 4am, she just quietly laid there most of the time. For a child like her, quietly lying there is not a good thing.

one month old

2009-05-25T15:30:00.003-06:00

Julian has turned out to be a easy going baby. He doesn't nurse nearly as often as the girls did, absolutely refuses to comfort suck, fussing until someone finds a binky for him. He will sleep in the swing for some naps, liking to be held for the rest of course. He sleeps best the first part of the night if he isn't in my arms but laying next to me. Some nights I wake up to find little eyes shining back at me, he is just lying there content as could be.

He is looking like quite the old man with the receding hair on top!

why I cried today

2009-05-22T18:38:00.003-06:00

Do you see it! Isn't it absolutely beautiful? She wrote her name. From memory, unprompted, by herself. That is HUGE, and all credit goes to M. the wonderful language therapist that we have been seeing 5 days a week.

no magic answer

2009-05-21T13:43:00.002-06:00

Apparently there isn't one for child insomnia. Meds are not working well for her. The prescription ones make her tired, but doesn't stop the nights wakings. They leave me with a child who still wakes up repeatedly but is unable to stay awake which is even worse then before. Now she'll wake up for a few minutes, then dooze off, wake up again, repeat many, many times. She is too tired to watch TV even. I'm waiting on the pedi to call me back about Gabrielle's cough (yep, she still has that chronic cough from Jan, everyone is at a loss as to why it won't go away), and then we'll talk about upping the dose.

round two of meds

2009-05-19T12:46:00.001-06:00

Benadryl stopped working last night. I was shocked it even worked for a couple nights to begin with. I'm breaking out the other meds tonight, wish us luck!

meds, therapy, and school

2009-05-17T07:25:00.006-06:00

The docs had two suggestions for us. We got a script for Clonidine which is a blood pressure med, it is used at low doses for child insomnia. They wanted us to try Benadryl first though. The only reason I had never tried it before because I've given it to Madeline before for hives and never noticed sleepiness as a side effect, she was still running around like she always does. I've given it to her the last two nights and she has slept for the most part. I'm not holding my breath that it really the Benadryl or the fact that she is just utterly exhausted. She thinks she is getting "real meds" and now she is sleeping is also interesting info.

Language therapy is going wonderfully. She has completed two weeks already and loves it. I can't remember if I post back when she got accepted to the private school officially, but yes she is in. Now the next issue begins. The school is having to reorganize the grade due to budget issues. K will now be a stand alone grade, 1st and 2nd will now be combined. The wonderful teacher that would of Madeline's teacher will be the K teacher. The other teacher I have not met but have been told from other parents that she is great as well. Madeline met the K teacher and loved her. They gave us the option of putting Madeline in either K or 1st, we have the summer to decide, and can change our minds later if it turns out to be a bad fit. The main issue with 1st grade besides she will be with more advanced students, is that in that both 1st and 2nd grades, there is only 1 girl. That student is in 2nd grade and is quite gifted, I only mention this because there are no other girls in the class and Madeline would obviously be a much different student then her.

There are several girls in K so that is not an issue. My biggest concern is holding her back if I don't have to. Madeline isn't a young student in her current grade to begin with, her b-day is only 3 months after the cut date. I don't want her to be oldest student in her grade by at least a year. I'm mulling it over and will probably see how she progresses this summer in therapy.

the house where no one is sleeping

2009-05-14T14:24:00.005-06:00

That is our house right now. I blame these 3.

Madeline is still not sleeping at night. We went into the pedi this week, she has never seen this severe of insomnia in a child at age 6. She is consulting with other docs for us. The other thing she could suggest was sending her to my mom's house for few nights because the only time in 6 weeks that Madeline has slept through the night was there. So we tried that this week, she slept through the night there one night, and was up the other two.

This little guy is one noisy boy! He wakes everyone up with his nursing, even asleep he makes all sorts of noises which then wakes up the other two children. So starting last night, Ryan moved back downstairs with both the girls. It didn't go as bad as we expected, Gabrielle was upset for one minute and then climbed in bed and went to sleep. We'll see how tonight goes since Madeline will be here then. Naptime is also interesting because I have to hold Gabrielle's hand while she goes to sleep. Only Julian wants to nurse, then he doesn't, then he squeaks and wakes her up. Yeah, everyone is quite grumpy here!

And this is the one picture I thought I'd never take of a child of mine! Julian has a binky and he loves it. It started out of sheer desperation. I've had two other carseat haters and I don't think I could survive a third, not with the amount of driving I have to do now days. Julian will happily ride ONLY with a binky, same goes for any sling or wrap, he has to have a binky before he will consider riding in it. He is also not a comfort nurser which is unfamiliar territory for me, he doesn't want the breast which is fine until I go to put him down and then once again he wants a binky. Sigh. Boys.

one week old

2009-05-02T16:54:00.008-06:00

One week went by way too fast. Ryan returns to work on Monday, I am dreading it. He took 2 weeks off with Gabrielle but his office manager is out recovering from open heart surgery so one week will have to do this time. He is going to *try* to take one day off a week for a while though, we'll see if that actually happens. Julian is a content baby so far, hopefully he will stay that way!

This pic was the only one that showed Julian's eyes. He came out so quickly and with such force that he broke blood vessels all in his left eye, face and neck. The ones on his skin looked like a rash, just red spots everywhere, they never did show up in pictures but were very visible to the eye. His eye looks better then it did but is still quite red on the sides.

I didn't get any new stretch marks with him, just elongated ones that I already had. This is the first pregnancy where I got a linea nigra, and the first one where I'm still wearing maternity pants after baby was born. All my bigger clothes are still about 10+ lbs away from fitting so unless I want to buy new pants then I'll wear my maternity ones until I can squeeze into something else.

I have been experiencing back pain since my labor with Julian, it feels like something is stuck. One trip to the chiro this week made it slightly better, but I'll probably need to go back a few more times to get complete relief. My labor with him was much more intense then with the girls, it was shorter, but that wasn't it. He was posterior, which I had no idea until after the fact obviously. In hindsight, I should of guessed, posterior babies like to hang out in one position, usually on the left or right side. Ever since he was big enough for me to palpate, he had been on my right side.

I really don't recommend back labor by the way, highly painful compared to regular labor. In my other labors, once the contraction stopped, then the pain was gone, not the case this time. At times I couldn't tell if a contraction had stopped or not, the pain remained for some time. When I'd have contractions 2-3 minutes apart, I was still feeling the first one when the next one would come. It was only when they were 6 or so minutes apart that I could relax for a minute between them. I managed ok, was just more vocal when I never had been with other labors. I had to rock on my hands and knees, rubbing my face against the pool, but each contraction left me utterly drained. At the very end right before Julian was born, I had to have Ryan apply counter pressure to my back, it only helped ever so slightly, but any relief was very welcome.

I was happy with my fishy pool. I much preferred it to the AquaDoula I used with Gabrielle. I did wish several times that it was wider but I blame my foot for that. My injury from a couple months ago still isn't completely healed and pushing or whacking it against the side of the tub wasn't always pleasant. Apparently I have a thing for foot injuries because Gabrielle stomped on my other foot the other day with a pair of heavy shoes and now that one is bruised and once again I am limping. Sigh. Anyway, the sides were sturdy enough to lean against, hang over, the bottom was cushy that being on my hands and knees wasn't uncomfortable. I will certainly use that pool again if other children come our way.

gymnastics

2009-05-01T12:17:00.000-06:00

Madeline has been taking gymnastics for 2 years now. It quickly became her favorite activity, one that she excels at. One sentence I didn't envision myself saying was, "No practicing cartwheels down the street or parking lot."

I was getting ready to ask that she be moved up to more advanced classes when her anxiety started last summer. Instead I had to ask that I be allowed in the gym with Madeline so she could continue to take classes. Early this year I asked the head coach to move her up and was told that none of those classes were appropriate for my child. The only interaction Madeline or I had ever had with that coach had been when I asked to attend the classes with her for a period of time.
Madeline just completed another 8 weeks session of classes, this time her coach was the only only coach at the gym that can move children up in levels. I was told on the last day of class that Madeline needs to be in the next level and should of been moved some time ago. Finally!
She started taking classes two days a week this year, but it was piecing together a tumbling/trampoline class and then an advanced beginner girls class. Now she will go 2 days a week year around to an intermediate class. Madeline is thrilled that she finally gets to learn some new skills. And in this class, she can continue to move up, before we reached the limit of what I could enroll her in without a coach's approval.
Gabrielle loves trying to copy her big sister, and begs to "go too". When she turns 3, she can take classes by herself. Before then there are only classes where I have to attend as well, not happening with other children around.
Until then, I make sure I take her to the open gym that the gym has every Friday during the school year. She has a little friend that she meets there, they run around holding hands and playing on the equipment. It is too cute.

life with Julian

2009-04-29T13:46:00.005-06:00

He is a sweet, little guy. So far he spends all his time eating and sleeping, lots of eating! I'm thinking that weight gain won't be a problem for Julian... The third child was been no problem, it's always the other ones that can be interesting. Madeline is in love with her little brother, she pesters me nonstop to hold him. Gabrielle asks to "pet him", she alternates between ignoring him and being fascinated that he has two ears, feet, etc... She of course has been whiny and clingy, which always comes at times when I want to do is rest.

Madeline has decided that sleep is for babies. Her insomnia started several weeks ago, several nights a week she'd wake up between 12-1am, just wide awake. It wasn't a huge deal, I'd often be up with my insomnia, she'd watch one cartoon or so and then head back to bed. I tried melatonin with no success. Going to bed later, earlier, wearing her out during the day, nothing works. It got much worse right before Julian was born, now she has been up for at least 3 hours every night. Last night we had to start refusing to come downstairs with her anymore, she gets scared and wants Ryan or I to stay with her. We turned on all the lights downstairs and put on a movie and went back to bed. We just can't stay up like that night after night. We are tired and miserable and so is she. I'm at a loss as to what to do with her to get her to actually sleep. I have an appointment with her pedi to rule out anything medical, we couldn't get in until the 11th but I don't want to take her to anyone else.

These pics are all from the day Julian was born, I'm too lazy to get up and get the other camera that has the most recent pics.

name

2009-04-25T18:10:00.002-06:00

I realized that I left out the name, LOL. This is the first baby that we've named the same day it was born so it's an interesting concept to me. I've thought about this name my whole pregnancy, and had it at the top of my list, and it certainly fits him.

Julian Miles

baby is here!

2009-04-25T16:51:00.005-06:00

A big baby boy arrived this morning, about 9:57 am I'm guessing, no one was looking at the clock! I got the UC that I had wanted. Labor was 4.5 hours long, horrid back labor this time. I had called our midwife at 7 to let her know I was in labor, she was still 10 minutes away from a birth she had attended the evening before. I called back at about 9:45 just because Ryan was starting to get really upset that she wasn't there, I told her not to hurry because while my contractions were very intense, they weren't that close together most of the time. He came very quickly, contractions were irregular between 2-6 minutes apart, then all of a sudden I had three right on top of each other and I started pushing. I think I pushed 5 times to get him out. I knew as soon as the head started coming that he was larger then the girls. His shoulders were a little tricky, I had to change positions in the pool to be able to get them out. After the shoulder were free, his torso was so large that he didn't slide right out like the girls had, I had to continue to push him out.

The girls weren't able to watch him being born, they had been downstairs with my mom and Ryan. Ryan came up just to check to see if I needed anything and that is when it got really intense. I managed to tell him "baby coming soon", but he had no idea how soon and I couldn't speak to tell him to call for them. He called down for them right after the birth and they came up. And once again, I got no pictures of the birth.

He was very blue, but responsive so I just rubbed him. It did take quite a while for him to pink up but he is doing fine. His cord was very short so I wasn't able to nurse him right away because it wouldn't reach. Ryan called our midwife after a few minutes because he was freaking out by then. She was just a couple minutes away. When she got there I had her help me cut the cord as soon as it was done pulsating so that I could actually hold him in my arms, it really was that short. She listened to him, weighed him for me,I asked her to check his blood type because I am RH-, and then she left. He was 8lbs 12 ozs! A full two lbs heavier then my girls, newborn hats and some of our clothes do not even fit him. It was a great birth, I wouldn't be happier at how it turned out.

bye bye EDD

2009-04-21T12:54:00.003-06:00

So yesterday was my EDD, course that doesn't actually mean anything, but it does feel rather surreal to actually be past it for the first time ever. I think I'm the same size now as I was when Gabrielle was born so obviously this babe just needs to cook longer. I'm fine with how ever long that takes, it would be nice if it was sooner rather then later but since I have no control over that, I'll just continue to wait. My weight gain is officially 42 lbs as of this morning. Baby has been quite low for a while now and the pressure is driving me nuts. The others weren't quite as bad but this time it feels like either baby or some other organ is going to fall out out at any second. That is one feeling I won't miss!

canceled!

2009-04-17T22:04:00.002-06:00

And it feels so good. I'm referring to the 3 week therapy trip in Denver I had booked for June. Everything has fallen into place for services here so I have no need to travel right now. The private language therapist agreed today to take Madeline as a client. This woman is amazing, we are incredibly fortunate that she took an interest in Madeline and decided she wanted to work with her. We are starting in May 4-5 days a week, she has several trips planned this summer so our entire summer won't revolve around it, but enough. She also is insisting that she is coming to our house to do the therapy, she lives 40 minutes away one way, she kept telling me that I'm the one that will have the new baby, she can do the driving. Did I mention how wonderful she is yet?!

Her goal for Madeline this summer is to have her be able to print her name, and recognize most of the alphabet before she starts first grade. After careful consideration, we've decided to stop working with Madeline on printing, other then her name, the therapist will only teach her cursive right now instead. Madeline has fine motor issues, she can not hold a pencil correctly (this is something she will also address), printing with it's fine lines is painful for Madeline. Cursive with it's loopy form is something that she should be able to do easier, and printing can be taught later. We are hoping that this type of therapy program will improve her speech, eliminating the need for speech therapy. We can't say for sure that it will, she has had success with students similar to Madeline. They spend a decent amount of time of the mouth portion of language and that can help improve some speech issues. We are willing to give it some time and see what happens. Worst possible case, we end up doing speech therapy.

I did mention first grade, Madeline got accepted today at our second choice school! I've spoken with the private dyslexia school just the other day, it will likely be an option for 2nd grade. They would prefer that she have one year of school somewhere else before coming to them, this other school is all that I could of hoped for without specializing in dyslexia. Our private therapist will go there for 60 minutes a day to work with Madeline. The school is not to do any instruction in reading/writing with her and they are fine doing that. As soon as baby is born, the teacher is going to work with us getting Madeline comfortable in the classroom this year. We'll start by bringing her in after school, and working up to brining her in during recess. We can spend a decent amount of time with her there during school hours. Parents are encouraged to come for lunch, they have a weekly afternoon "wilderness day" which is hiking, snowshoeing, etc... which they love parents to attend, in addition to field trips, etc...

Madeline doesn't know she is for sure attending school next year. It has been mentioned to her and she has responded with nothing less then sheer terror. It is not going to be easy, but I have no other choices. I wish more then anything that things were different that I could keep her home with me which is where she desperately wants to be, but her special needs are too great. I know this is what we have to do but it doesn't stop me from feeling like my heart is being ripped out she is crying over anyone mentioning the very idea of school to her.

39 weeks and counting

2009-04-14T20:53:00.003-06:00

I've never been pregnant this long. On one hand, it's good because I have a hubby that is knocked out of pain meds still and not able to help that much, but on the other, I'm getting to the point where I'm done.

our easter

2009-04-13T21:09:00.005-06:00

Easter as a holiday always throws me. I'm never quite sure what to do for it since we are not religious in any sense and I don't do things like Santa, Easter Bunny, etc... I think I'm finally ok with not trying to do much more then egg hunts, egg dying and candy, which is what we did this year!

We also ended up making a trip to the ER for Ryan. He had sudden onset of severe foot pain with no injury, when it started radiating up his leg and the swelling was increasing, I forced him to go in. It was bad enough that the man who never ever takes a day off of work for illness/injury was given IV narcotics for the pain. He was diagnosed with gout which actually surprised me for a minute because I never thought of it because of his age. His blood pressure was quite high as well so I'll be having to force him to do follow up care for that. Of course he isn't doing anything that he is supposed to, taking meds, resting, changing diet, drinking water, sigh. For a minute I thought he might take his health seriously, but that might be too much to ask.

not a baby post

2009-04-10T20:50:00.002-06:00

Someone is still happily inside. I would be happier if it decided to emerge but since it isn't up to me, I wait. I am trying not think about the fact that Madeline was already born by this point in my pregnancy with her...

Anyway, the point of this post was about other news. For 4 years now I've been getting credit for being a LLL leader, my end goal was to combine those hours, my RN, and sit for the IBCLC exam. I discovered today that the pathways for the exam have been changed, and I have twice the hours already to sit! The exam is only offered once a year in July, but with all my contact hours out of the way now, I can focus on the last things I need to do to qualify for the 2010 exam. Which involves more school, blech. Not really what I want to do with a newborn, and everything else we have going on but I can take the classes online and it shouldn't be *that* difficult.

I'm not going to use the IBCLC for a while, it's more about having options. Having been out of the work force for over 6 years already, I know employers frown on hiring a "rusty" RN, but if I am an LC and have been doing volunteer work for the last x amount of years, then it could play out differently. I'm one of those that always like having something to fall back on. I don't want to pursue employment for years, but it's always nice knowing that if need be, that I could still get a decent job.

38 weeks

2009-04-06T21:23:00.003-06:00

Ok baby, don't you want to keep up with your big sisters and come out when they did? That would be this week, so get working on that!

random pics

2009-04-04T21:15:00.004-06:00

I'm awful about taking and actually posting pics so here are a few recent ones.

Madeline loves the diving board at the swimming pool. Too bad Ryan has yet to figure out the focus feature on the camera, next time I'm going to be in charge of taking the pics there.

Someone decided that Mimi needed to go potty.

I liked Cinnamon and Dobbie in the background of this pic.

37 weeks

2009-03-30T22:16:00.002-06:00

Everything is ready, I think. I'm tired and not sleeping much at all. I'm really ok if this thing decides to vacate soon.

Despite all the extra weight gain this time, my belly looks the size as it did with Gabrielle which means I *might* get a 7lb baby if I'm lucky. She was 6lbs 11ozs, Madeline was 6lbs 13ozs. Apparently I'm just not meant to grow larger babies.

Birth arrangements have panned out to my and Ryan's liking. The midwife will come if she is available, if not then I have the option of just phone support or her student which I know and would be ok with. If she does come then she will stay downstairs, I have my birthing space all ready to go upstairs, I don't even have to see her if I don't want to.

getting there

2009-03-22T22:18:00.004-06:00

Not much time left so we are getting prepared! The family activity this morning was setting up my pool, of course it had to be child approved, which is was.

Gabrielle is quite the little ham for the camera these days.

I'm really pleased with my fishy pool. It's deep enough, the sides are very sturdy, it retains the heat excellent, and the bottom is really cushy. I used an AquaDoula for Gabrielle's birth and had a number of complaints about it. The sides were too hard to lean against, it was too deep, I couldn't sit on the bottom without my face being in the water, and the bottom was very uncomfortable to kneel on.

I had a blessingway last night! It was unexpected, and wonderful. I went out to dinner last week with a woman that I know from the center where I hold my LLL meetings at, I don't know her that well, and I was surprised when she decided to throw me one. It had to be this weekend since she was leaving for Hawaii today for several weeks (I'm so jealous!), I doubted anyone would come, but they did. I couldn't get a good pic, the light in this house bites, but they painted a gorgeous flower on my belly.

Plan B

2009-03-21T06:59:00.002-06:00

After a very long week, and another one next week, I think we've narrowed down other options for Madeline as far as schooling goes. First choice is still hoping that the school gets more young students and then she can go there. I have two choices after that, and will need more investigating to see if we can make them work. There is another private school that is willing to work with us. They have a K/1st grade combined class so it doesn't matter that Madeline is more of a K student then a 1st grader. That teacher is also the principal, I met with her and she is fully aware of all of our issues and didn't shy away. She had three students this year with SPD, and she decided to undergo some training for it to better help those students so I know she is willing to go out of her way to met the students where they are at. The main reason that I am even considering this school is because they do have other dyslexic students and are fine working around special arrangements. If Madeline went to that school, and a big if, then we would be having a private OG tutor come in for her an hour every day to work with her, and the school is more then happy to work around that. A major bonus to this option is that the private school has an arrangement with the local district to use their computers/library, in order to do that, the students are also enrolled in the school district. That could make it much easier for us to receive services for Madeline. A big drawback for me though is that it is a Christian school, which we are not.

The other option would be to enroll her in the online program that the public school has here where once again she would be a public school student but she could be at home with me. I would still have to get a private OG tutor and make that work 5 days a week, since the very limited options for tutors require a commitment at that level.

I'm considering the other private school for a few reasons, the tutor would come there, eliminating dragging a toddler and baby to a daily session. Also the end result will be that Madeline hopefully goes to the original private school in another year, there is absolutely no way to reproduce what they can offer there at home or any other school, it really is an amazing school. I'm wondering if a transition year would be good for Madeline since that school might not be an option this year. Madeline has a huge fear of school, the dyslexia school was concerned about taking on a child that has never been in a school environment. I can't blame them, they are so small that they are not equipped to handle some issues. The second private school is aware of her anxiety and willing to work with us to ease her into school. We are on the waiting list there so we don't even know if that could be an option, they will decide in a month.

I'm so tired

2009-03-17T19:01:00.002-06:00

I'm tired of piecing together services, of fighting the system and people to get services, of constantly having to search out random people to hopefully get a referral to someone else that can help me. I'm tired but I can see it's only just beginning still. We had a meeting with the private school today, while they agree Madeline is dyslexic, they are reluctant to enroll her for the next school year. I understand their concerns and agree, they are valid, I would of been raising them as well. Madeline is the sole applicant so far for 1st grade for the 09/10 school year, to add to the issue, they have no 1st grade students this school year. The school is very small and most children are not diagnosed with dyslexia until they are older, I understand why after how hard it has been to get testing performed on Madeline. The school would not want Madeline to be the youngest child for two grades, I wouldn't want her to be either, as sensitive as she is, she would not fare well there. Hopefully they will get more students, but we can't count on it, and it could be something that we won't know for months so I have to move on to another plan.

After contacting another local mom, I have the contact into of a private tutor that might be willing to work with us on some issues. This might be the only solution for another school year that we have. which brings us to our next issue, the local company that contracts to the school district for services like speech, OT. The law states in CO that all students regardless of schooling (home, public, private) are entitled to services, the company is telling me otherwise. I finally got a meeting with them next week, I'm not hopeful that even if we get them to evaluate, that they will find anything. They have evaluated Madeline a couple of years ago and came back with nothing, hence the reason we have gone privately for everything up to this point. My major stumbling block is speech therapy, they are the only ones that offer it, and I want it for Madeline. I'm considering hiring an advocate to come to the meeting with us, someone who is familiar with the system and knows what to push for. Worse possible case, we'll have to do speech therapy in Denver, I already have that three week trip booked in June at the center, they also do speech therapy. It might be easier to just travel and pay for it then battling the school district but I'm going to try first.

one child down

2009-03-13T20:50:00.002-06:00

I hope anyway. We have had sleeping arrangement issues, no matter what we've tried, it doesn't seem to work. Madeline has her own room, she happily slept in it for 8+ months, that of course that ended when the anxiety started last summer. Since then we've had musical beds, Ryan was in her room then she was in his room, and back and forth. Currently she has been sleeping in his room and her room has been sitting empty.

The next issue is that Gabrielle is sleeping with me. It wouldn't be an issue if she didn't wake up at the slightest little thing, but she does and it is a nightmare. She is not interested in sleeping with Ryan, she will slightly tolerate him if I am right there and she has a death grip on my hand. She has a hand fetish and insists on holding it to sleep and anytime she wakes up. Ryan can snuggle with her at times and I can get up and pee in peace without dragging her with me in the middle of the night. I still have to put her to bed, and put her back to sleep when she wakes up. There is the problem of the other child who wants Daddy sleeping with her so for the last couple weeks Ryan has been sneaking upstairs sleeping with us and then sneaking back down around 5-6 before Madeline wakes up. Very fun. I finally convinced Madeline to try sleeping in her room tonight, hopefully she will keep doing it. The addition of the cat helped!

34 weeks

2009-03-09T10:31:00.003-06:00

I'm just full of posts today! Gabrielle has decided to break out in hives the last few days, no idea what that is about, so all she wants to do is sit on my lap. I finally got around to taking another pic, I swear that my belly was bigger a few weeks ago, clothes are fitting differently so I'm thinking baby must be lower now. I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that if baby decides to come at 38 weeks like Madeline and Gabrielle did, that is only 4 weeks away! It seems much too close. No real complaints right now other then lack of sleep and I still can't stand to nurse Gabrielle. I let her a few times a day but I can't say I enjoy it, even just her snuggling up against my breasts drives me insane. And the weight gain is slightly annoying, 35 lbs as of early last week, which is almost double what I gained with Madeline.... I almost forgot my only real complaint, Braxton Hicks contractions. I have them constantly, I did with Gabrielle as well. I was up at 5am this morning because they were just one after another and I can't sleep through them. I'm spending a lot of my time sitting down with my feet up, which helps slightly.

We met with the midwife Rebecca last week again. I'm feeling more at peace with her being at the birth, and finally managed to order the birth kit that I had been holding off on. My EDD is around her busy time so there is always a chance she will be at another birth, I'm refusing her backup midwife in my area. Both her and I are fine with that, if Rebecca can't make it and I feel like I need someone then she has a woman that has been training under her that I do know and would be ok with. Rebecca is laid back enough that I could tell her to hang out in the general area or be outside if I felt like it and she would be fine with it, I'm hoping to talk Ryan into considering it. I did one prenatal with her when she came over, just blood pressure and listening to baby so she can have a record that I at least did one. Now I'll just stay in touch and call when I go into labor.

Madeline is getting really excited about the new baby, Gabrielle not so much. She demands that "baby out now!", but she doesn't have a clue what is in store for her. She has regressed in some areas, very clingy and whiny, only Mama will do but that is do be expected. As far as what baby is, I have no idea. I'm starting to think it's a girl, which given my track record, must mean it's a boy. I thought both Madeline and Gabrielle were boys so I obviously have no idea.

work at my speed people

2009-03-09T06:54:00.002-06:00

Blah! For two weeks I have been trying to organize another therapy trip to Denver this summer. I don't want to be committing to such a trip, 3 weeks, before this baby is even born but time matters. Anyone who has ever stayed in a hotel with small children knows that it sucks, I will do almost anything not to have to do that with 3 children now for 3 weeks. The townhouse that I had rented before is primarily reserved for families of the Star Center, which isn't where we are doing therapy through anymore. The woman that owns it had agreed to rent it to me during her non-busy months which is usually June or September. That house rents out fast and a week ago, May 31st-June 20 was open and she was willing to give it to me. The problem being that the center we have been working through doesn't book out that far in advance so it's been two weeks of me pestering them trying to get a yes or no. I *should* have an answer today, only as of last night, the town house had a reservation for June 14th and on so I've already lost a week there.

To add to the confusion is the gut wrenching decision that we very well might send Madeline to school next year and then maybe not need to travel this summer. There is a very small private school here that only accepts dyslexic or gifted students, and I do mean small, 22 students this year. This school would be our only option for Madeline to work with qualified therapists in our area and not have to travel. The school doesn't use the same program she has been working with in Denver but another one that is highly accredited for dyslexics, Orton Gillingham. Madeline has been responding very well to the Linda-Mood Bell LIPS program so it would require a switch and we'd have to hope that OG works for her.

I never thought that I would be considering sending her to school, I had always planned on homeschooling my children. For those of you that don't know, I homeschooled myself for 3 years of high school and swore up and down that I'd give the same to my children. I just wasn't expecting to have a child like Madeline, i can't meet her needs at home. If we lived somewhere different, with more resources, and I could get qualified therapists working with her, then I believe that we could still homeschool, but we don't and moving isn't an option because of Ryan's work. I'm let to work with what I have available in my area, which isn't much. The only people that could work with her are employed at this school, otherwise I have to keep on traveling. Traveling isn't feasible forever, it is highly expensive, our living expenses to do so cost more then the therapy does. 1-3 weeks here and there isn't enough, I can and am working with her at home but the programs are not easy to learn, it really takes a therapist trained in them to be able to do them. At Liberty, the dyslexic students receive extensive tutoring 1 on 1 in the afternoons in addition to the school following the OG program.

Schools don't work at lightening speed so we've been playing phone tag and talking to them. They agreed to set up an appointment for us, but now want all of her testing info first to look over, after that, maybe an interview. Sigh. Meanwhile I feel that I have to continue to arrange the therapy in Denver for the summer because I don't know if Madeline going to Liberty School will happen and if I abandon therapy plans then it will be too late and we'll be left waiting for months again. Oddly enough, the tuition for the school year is less then we've paid for therapy last year because they rely heavily on fundraising and volunteers.

no more incidents!

2009-03-06T08:29:00.003-07:00

I think my family has met their quota of x-rays for a while. 4 in 5 weeks seems more then enough to me. The first two were for Gabrielle's clavicle then this week she went in for a chest x-ray due to a chronic cough she has had since early January (all clear by the way), and last was me yesterday for my foot. I managed to hit my right foot on an object injuring it enough that I can barely walk on it, not to mention that it hurts, a lot. It appears that I didn't break anything so now I'm just stuck hobbling around waiting for the swelling to go down. As if being 8 months pregnant already wasn't enough to screw with my center of gravity, not to mention all the extra weight I am carrying around, now this. We've been stuck at home since we got back from Denver because Gabrielle has had a nasty stomach bug the whole week, and now it appears she is getting a cold so I guess we still won't be doing anything for a while!

In other random news, Madeline has her first loose tooth! That surprised me, I wasn't expecting this yet. My baby is getting too big.

siblings

2009-03-04T20:12:00.005-07:00

I have to roll my eyes when I hear comments about children having to be spaced close together or else they won't play together, those people obviously haven't been to my house. Yes, my girls do fight, all children do but they play together a tremendous amount and are a spacing that most consider not close, 3 years and 10 months. Madeline being the oldest is always the ring leader, Gabrielle follows along but she has definite opinions about what should be done and makes sure those are heard.

Madeline is also old enough to think about things Gabrielle might need, she will take her to the bathroom or fix her a snack because Gabrielle said she was hungry. At the playground, she carries her up to the slide on parts that she can't climb up. All of this I don't ask her to do, she just does. Madeline gets a stamp on her hand after gymnastics classes, almost always she asks her coach to give one to Gabrielle so she won't feel left out. Gabrielle now stands by the door waiting for big sister to come and carry her into the gym. And I just realized that my time stamp is messed up on my camera so ignore the dates! , and you will notice that Gabrielle has a friend in every single picture.

home once again

2009-02-28T20:55:00.002-07:00

I am never ever doing that again without dragging Ryan along, he deserves to share in the full torture that is a therapy trip to Denver. As miserable as it was, it was beneficial. Madeline completed 10 hours of language therapy at the new center, which I love by the way. I am so proud of her. She did 2 hours each day, refusing to take breaks, behaved her age there (which doesn't always happen) and responded very well to the program.

The main therapist is wonderful, she has been doing this for many years and is a great resource. I feel privileged to have someone with her experience guiding us. She worked with Madeline herself half the time and another therapist the rest. They used this program on Madeline: http://www.lindamoodbell.com/programs/lips.html with great success. It's the only program that focuses on the mouth piece while breaking down the phonemic awareness. We are stopping focusing on letters and instead only working with the sounds they make. In those 10 hours, Madeline went from not knowing a single one to knowing 10! Apparently children with weak route memory usually respond very well to this particular program, and that was certainly our experience.

Once again we are home and I'm struggling to figure out what to do now. The center sent me home with a giant binder to continue working with her at home, but I'm doubtful. I consider myself an intelligent person but this program is not easy. I barely grasped it when they were explaining it to me. We also will be returning to Denver this summer for a 80-100 hour intensive program to continue the therapy. When is up in the air, it might be much sooner after this baby is born then I'd like. The center is very flexible and have told me just to let them know when we can come. After spending a week in a suite hotel with two small children, I will do almost anything not to do that for 3+ weeks. The owner of the townhouse that we have rented previously, normally only rents it out to families working through that center, but because she knows me, she will rent it out to me during her slow months if there no previous long term bookings. Those slow months are looking to be June or September. September is too far away, I'd hate to put off Madeline's therapy for that long, very early June isn't that far off from April so that part bites. We will see what happens, she can't commit to give me the townhouse, and if I don't get it then I'd rather go in July or August. This time I WILL be dragging Ryan along for part of the time, I will not ask my mom to go with me again, she is thoroughly over traveling with my children, can't say I blame her!

hopefully our last ortho appintment

2009-02-20T12:34:00.004-07:00

I took Gabrielle in this morning for a follow up x-ray before leaving this weekend for Denver. The good news was that she is healing quickly and shouldn't have any problems in the future other then maybe a noticeable bump under skin from extra bone growth in that area. The bad news is that it was an awful appointment, poor thing screamed the entire time. Of course they were running behind so we had to wait, all she wanted to do was go home. I wouldn't stay with her while they did the x-rays, Ryan has been out of town, it took two techs to hold her down long enough to get an x-ray. She passed out quickly for her nap, that was a draining morning.

the last trip

2009-02-14T21:04:00.002-07:00

Yep. I'm going to take one more trip up to Denver before the baby arrives. I'm probably insane, it was last minute. We are finished with the Star Center up there, this will be therapy at the neurodevelopmental center. She wants to spend 10 hours working with Madeline with another therapist to further evaluate and assess her skills, learning abilities, etc... I don't know if Madeline can handle more then 2 hours a day of more intensive language therapy so that is what we are going to do. 2 hours a day for 5 days and see how she does.

My mom agreed to come up with me to watch Gabrielle so she doesn't have to sit in the waiting room with me. The townhouse I have rented in the past is booked months in advance so we'll be staying at a suite hotel. It is much pricer then the townhouse even with a great deal I found, but I don't have many other options. My children do not do well sleeping in the same room together, if my mom and Gabrielle are going to be spending 3 hours or so a day trying to stay entertained in a hotel room with no car, they need a kitchen, room to spread out a little.

winter schedule

2009-02-11T21:23:00.003-07:00

I really wasn't planning on doing too many things. We are continuing with OT once a week, Madeline has taken one gymnastics class a week for a couple years now. She really enjoys it so we added a tumbling class last month as well. She took swim lessons last spring/summer, she kept asking me when she could do it again, I've been calling the rec center trying to find another instructor. I ran into an old family friend of mine a couple weeks ago who teaches piano lessons. She doesn't teach traditional lessons but the students learn how to play songs first and then reading the music slowly comes in. I knew it would be good for her self esteem and fine motor skills, plus Ryan is an excellent piano player and I knew it would be something they would enjoy doing together. So we added piano into our week as well. The rec center finally got back to me about swim lessons so now we are doing that again as well! Somehow I don't think that we will keep up this schedule for long but it will keep us busy until April.

random updates

2009-02-08T21:15:00.002-07:00

Gabrielle is doing very well now. She only says once in a while that her "boo boo hurts", and we are down to giving her Ibuprofen maybe once a day, and no more codeine! Which is so nice because we had to battle constipation for several days because of it. She is slowly starting to use her left arm more and more. I'm still going to keep her close to home next week, I don't want her injuring it.

I've been gathering my supplies for the birth. I alternate between being excited and terrified that in as soon as 8 weeks, I could have a newborn. The terrified part mostly is because of Gabrielle, she is sensing that change is around the corner and has been refusing to let me sleep any decent amount. I ordered a fishy pool for another water birth, and the supplies for the pool. I've been resisting ordering a birth kit though. I have some supplies leftover from Gabrielle's birth, and I don't have a problem ordering some things but the midwife supplied list includes items like gloves, things that I would have no use for if I didn't have a midwife. Just the list irks me and there is nothing out of the ordinary on it, but I don't like having to gather things for someone else.

day 2

2009-01-31T14:49:00.003-07:00

Last night and today have definitely been more interesting. Gabrielle moved her arm around too much yesterday and has paid the price for it. I managed to rig up a row of safety pins and a doll sling that I can get her to wear once in a while to keep her arm still. We've been trying to just keep her on the couch which presents it's own set of issues because she can't hold herself up so she falls over, and when I try to straighten her up she starts crying. So we finally found a use for the Scenera that we bought for a trip a couple summers ago and have never really used! I also had to send Ryan in today and get Tylenol with codeine, I'm hoping that will allow her to sleep tonight, last night was rather unpleasant. Gabrielle can't lay flat on the bed and can't move at all without crying so it was a very long night of having to roll her over while she screamed. I shipped Madeline off to my mom's house for a few days. She kept bouncing around the house and then Gabrielle would try and follow, but would bump her arm or fall down. She keeps asking that I make her boo boo better which is sad to hear but overall she has been in good spirits as long as we keep her well medicated. A collection of new Mickey Mouse DVD's hasn't hurt either....

I foresee lots of TV time....

2009-01-30T13:46:00.003-07:00

Cause Gabrielle fell and broke her clavicle last night. There isn't much they can do for her especially because they couldn't find a sling small enough for a 2 year old. I'm under orders keep her from jumping around and playing for several weeks, ha ha. Right now she is enough pain that she isn't trying to play that much or use her arm, but I can see in a couple days that will tough to manage.

an agreement has been reached

2009-01-18T20:22:00.002-07:00

Regarding the birth of this baby. Ryan and I have been on opposite pages, which is nothing new, that is always the way it is. Not having an midwife is something that I've talked to him about for years, and no matter how much education I try or talking through his fears, the idea alone can almost give him a panic attack. He is fine with a home birth, we've been there done that so that is not scary to him anymore.

I have been happy as a clam this pregnancy not seeing anyone. I loathe prenatals, always felt that they were a waste of my time. I refuse to do anything other then checking my blood pressure heart rate, listening to baby, and once in a while measuring is ok. Heck, I can do all that myself if I really wanted to, I don't feel the need to so I haven't.

I met with a midwife this weekend that I first talked with last year because Ryan starting to get really antsy about not having a midwife. She is fine with me not doing prenatals and for a reduced fee, she'll just come and hang out for the birth. Yeah, I'd prefer not having anyone else here, but I do know that unless Ryan has someone here for him, he would drive me insane while in labor. A calm and relaxing person he is not! I can deal with this, it is just one extra person, she can keep Ryan away from me, because he really does annoy me when I'm in labor. I prefer to be alone anyway, and I have only have to do one prenatal for some type of record.

26 weeks

2009-01-14T20:12:00.004-07:00

I'm really not great at taking pictures of myself, I always admire those women that have tons of pregnancy pics. I think I have 3 total from my last two pregnancies, I'm trying to do better this time around so now I have 3 from this pregnancy! I already had most of what I needed for this babe already. When we were in Denver I hit up some thrift stores and found some cheap newborn clothes just to have a different variety. I got a new infant car seat already, and found an awesome deal on an expensive stroller with the fancy bassinet. My plan for that is to keep it downstairs, it can be a place to stash the baby while Gabrielle is napping upstairs in the bed. Once the bassinet is outgrown then I have a new stroller for the older children to fight over who gets to ride in it.

Ryan is starting to get nervous about the lack of a midwife so I have an appointment this weekend to speak with one. I've met her last year, she is actually friends with my parents and is very laid back so we'll see. I spoke with a closer one last month and wasn't impressed. She requires another skilled person present, that is not appealing to me since I would refuse all her normal midwifes that attend with her so I would be left trying to find someone. I do have a couple people that could work and they have offered but it would just be another person here and another person to call when the time comes. Currently I am not feeling the need for a midwife, I am enjoying going through this pregnancy with no appointments and no one to answer to but me.

this needs to happen more often

2009-01-12T21:54:00.002-07:00

Over the weekend I went on my first mom's night out since Madeline was born. It was complete and utter heaven, I have to do it more often then once every six years! Ryan managed to put Gabrielle to sleep and even fed them a halfway decent diner, shocking. Gabrielle started calling us Mommy and Daddy today, it is really cute to hear.

Happy Birthday Madeline!

2009-01-07T21:02:00.003-07:00

I am the mother of a 6 year old today! Madeline is quite happy to officially be 6, and she had a good birthday. Her favorite Waldolf storytime at the library followed by playing with her best little friend and then she decided she wanted to go to McDonald's for dinner.

Houston, we have a problem

2009-01-04T20:24:00.005-07:00

I have an addict, her name is Gabrielle. Her current vices are Frosty the Snowman (the old movie), anything with a train or Mickey Mouse on it, and computer games, especially Starfall.com. She screams "game me" at either me or Madeline until one of us gives in and plays with her on the computer. She can recognize several letters, and can practically recite the entire Starfall site in toddler speak. I did make Frosty die a very sudden death this weekend, I'm not feeling too bad about the TV and 2 year old. Well, I didn't get her started on it, my mom did when we were in Denver and I was away with Madeline at her appointments. That movie did get us the whole way back from Denver on crappy roads with Gabrielle only talking to yell to turn Frosty back on again.

Tonight though, I realized that Gabrielle is learning Madeline's anxiety and fears. Madeline has a fear of bugs in the bath water, we've never had one in there but it's something she is very concerned about and spends half the bath jumping out yelling because she thinks she sees something in the water. Gabrielle who LOVES bathes and will spend hours in splashing around now is refusing to get into the water because she thinks there is a bee in there. She has learned the water is something to be afraid of and copies exactly what big sister is doing.

Madeline's party

2009-01-03T20:28:00.004-07:00

We had Madeline's 6th B-Day party today. I started the day afraid that it would be a repeat of last year where it snowed and no one was able to come since once again we woke up to it snowing. It did snow all day but everyone was able to make it. Today was the happiest that I've seen Madeline in a long time. Even though her anxiety is manageable most days now, she always has some, she picks at her lips when she is nervous now and I catch her doing it all the time. For several hours today, I didn't see her doing it once. I didn't have to walk to the bathroom with her because she was terrified or answer that no one would take her in the house or respond to questions for her because she was refusing to talk. It is days like today that make everything worth it.

the jumping for joy post

2008-12-31T23:13:00.004-07:00

So everyone knows that Gabrielle gets ill often, this entire year she has never gone more then 1.5 weeks between illnesses. She took the month of August off and December now as well! Since it is officially 45 minutes till January I think that I am safe to say it. The last time she has been ill was over Thanksgiving, that is huge for her. I'm not holding my breath, I'm sure that by next week we'll be back to our normal but it sure was nice to have a break for once.

it has started

2008-12-30T21:10:00.002-07:00

I was warned about this, Madeline having self esteem issues, but thought I might have a little more time before she noticed. Tonight I heard, "Mama, I wish I didn't have problems." We've never made a big deal about anything, or have even said that she was different, we've tried to shield her from it. She has no idea that other children don't do OT or that it is anything but fun, but apparently she does know she is different. Sigh, those are the saddest words that I've heard in a long time. As a parent, all you want to do is protect your children, but I can't make everything go away, and I can't shield her forever. Not being in the school system or even around children her own age (most of her playmates are younger) has had major advantages, she hasn't been aware that the should be doing certain things, though I have seen lately that the awareness is growing.

In other related news, the OT that had worked with Madeline here before we went to Denver has agreed to come biweekly and work on her fine motor skills. She came today and was amazed at how much stronger Madeline had become since doing the intensive OT.

what we did this weekend

2008-12-29T21:32:00.006-07:00

I couldn't take my bedroom anymore. I'm not one that has a perfectly decorated room but after sleeping on the floor for the past 5 years, I wanted something a little more.

My X-Mas present was a very cheap bedframe that I found on Overstock, and then much to Ryan's dismay, I decided that the walls needed to be painted. We'll do the ceiling one of these days, it was all I could do to get the 4 walls done!

I'm in love with it, and it's amazing how much more I look forward to going upstairs to put the laundry away. I used to hate coming upstairs, everything was so blah, now I just need to get him to paint the loft next...

pics of snow

2008-12-26T19:57:00.007-07:00

I opened the blind in the bedroom this morning was was greeted with this. And ignore the very ugly window covering that someone has yet to take down after me asking for 1.5 years....

So Ryan got to climb on the roof on the other side of the house and make his way over to shovel it off since it was DEEP and very heavy. I'm surprised the window in the bedroom didn't crack with all the weight pressing against it.
And in other exciting news, I officially have a potty learned 2 year old! Just during the daytime, at night she still soaks her dipes but it's a start and went very quickly over all. I dragged her little potty with us to Denver this last trip thinking that it might be a good time to start working on it. Other then running to therapy appointments which Gabrielle didn't go to, we really didn't do too much up there. It took me 2 days to get her to pee in the potty once and then nothing so I shelved that idea. Then on X-Mas Eve she found her Thomas undies that we had bought her and insisted that she was wearing them. By today, she was down to only having one accident all day and that was even with us leaving the house for a while! She is quite pleased with herself and every time she goes, she runs around clapping and yelling, "yea Boo!". LOL

Merry X-Mas!

2008-12-25T20:05:00.006-07:00

We've had a quiet X-Mas at home today. I had decided at the beginning of the week that we were not spending X-Mas with my family like we always do. My parents were insisting that they were holding dinner at their house in the mountains, and it's been snowing all week. I didn't want to drive up and back in the same day and I didn't want to spend the night so we opted out of everything. Thank goodness because we have just a little bit of snow at our house! It's coming down even more as I type so I'm thinking Ryan is going to have a fun day of shoveling and snow blowing tomorrow....

Most of the X-mas morning pics I can't show because Gabrielle was running around bare butted but here is her thrilled over presents and what they got today.